外贸邮件书写注意事项(2)

2019-04-02 07:51

近期内原材料涨价,希望您能尽快确认,我们好采购原材料并安排生产。 第一个应聘者是这样写的:

Dear Mike,

This is Jenny from EDF Co. Ltd. We're so pleased to receive your samples. I already sent them to our factory last week, and was informed the real material is PP, not ABS as you mentioned last time. What's the matter?

I'll give you reply as soon as we get the offer from the factory. It will take several days. Please be more patient. But they also told me, the raw material increased these days. Could you please confirm the price quickly after you get it? We'll purchase the raw material and do the production immediately!

Looking forward to your reply. Thank you!

Best regards, Jenny

这封邮件写得好么?老实说还可以,虽然主动语

态和人称多了点,但是内容都点到了,表达也算通顺,用的词汇也都是挺简单的,不难懂。但是不是有点啰嗦?如果能简单一点,是不是更好?我们看看第二位应聘者写的email:

Dear Mike,

How are you?

We received your all samples. The factory checked the details, and found the material was PP, not ABS as you told.

Please give them some more time to re-check the price, because the material is different from the past orders. However, the material was increased very quickly! Therefore, please kindly place the order soon if the price is ok for you! We'll do production asap.

Thank you in advance!

Kind regards, Tommy

这封呢?我个人觉得比上一封号一点,毕竟主动和被动语态结合,“We”只出现了一次,不算太枯燥。内容也稍微简单了一点,点到位了。最重要的是,他把purchase the raw material去掉了,直接用“We'll do the production asap.”这样更简洁,毕竟你要生产,能不采购原材料么?所以这是废话。缺点是,我个人感觉还是啰嗦了一点。

我会这样写:

Hi Mike, Samples received and already passed to vendor. The material was PP, not ABS. Offer sheet is preparing and will be sent to you soon. By the way, raw material increased these days, pls make a decision quickly to go ahead after price confirmed. We'll arrange the mass production asap. Thanks and best regards, C

几句话点到主题,表达清楚就可以了。能用一句话表达的,千万不写两句,省掉一切能省的废话。写完以后其实可以读一遍,看哪句话可以删掉,哪句话可以换一种表达方式,少用第一人称,

多用被动语态!等到你重新检查的时候,发现已经简单的不能再简单,没词可以删了,那就点“发送”吧~~

只要做到“简洁”、“清楚”、“准确”,这就是一封好的email了。 5)喜欢用奇奇怪怪的字体。很多人为了追求醒目,总喜欢用很夸张的字体,颜色,甚至放大,加粗,再用斜体等等,其实一眼看上去会让人很不舒服。经常跟老外写email的人会发现,客人很少会用奇怪的字体或者粗体,甚至全部大写来写邮件,除了少数的尼日利亚、非洲客人,我还真没遇到过别的。欧美人一般比较常用的字体就是以下几种:Arial,Verdana,Calibri,Times new roman,也有一些用Tahoma字体的,但相对少一点。一部分台湾和香港客人会用PMingLiU这种字体。至于颜色,一般都是黑色或者蓝色,别在一封邮件里出现多种奇奇挂怪的颜色,像彩虹一样,看着不舒服。

一般客人在邮件里特别加粗,或者大写,或者用红色标注的,肯定是特别强调的东西。比如有个客人的邮件如下: Dear C,

Please help to send the samples to my HK office BEFORE THIS WEEKEND. Thanks. Rio

这就很明显了,客人用大写的目的是为了提醒并强调,必须要周末前寄出!可能这封邮件很简单,你不太容易忽视,但是如果一封很长的邮件,里面详细确认各种规格的时候,突然加了一句要你周末前寄样品,是很容易被忽略的。

6)主动语态用得太多。英文信函中,如果你仔细琢磨老外的行文方式,很少会充满We,I之类的人称的。相反要多用被动语态。 比如说,我们明天会寄你样品。中国人喜欢说We'll send you the samples tomorrow. 这句话没错,语法正确,意思清楚,但是老外就不喜欢这样说。他们通常会这样写:Samples will be sent to you tomorrow. 用得是被动语态,人称就没有了。

7)经常会问一些毫无意义的话。比如Do you want our products?这句话被我列为最傻疑问句排行榜第一名。如果客人说No,你怎么回复?那就没下文了哦。而且本身你是去推销的,你希望客人感兴趣,你要引起客人的兴趣。但是这句话就大煞风景,等于一下子就把客人逼到了绝路上,一定要说是或者否。

还有诸如Do you interested in our products? Are you sourcing for *****? How is your business recently? Would you like to cooperate with us? 这些都是毫无意义的话。 开发信还是要直接一点,告诉客人你是谁,你做什么,你的优势在那里。只要清楚表述出这3点,就完全足够了。其他的东西可以以后慢慢谈。


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