become selfish. They become careless and don’t help others alot if it is about studies. There will be no co-operations for them.Then, why are there companies for many people to work in? eachof them are clever, however, there are weak parts and strongparts for each person. To co-operate is to improve this part.People talk and listen to what others thinking of and learn. Thatcould also be a great opportunity to learn instead of learningalone with one teacher.
In conclusion, I strongly agree with that children should betaught to co-operate rather than compete. Nobody is perfect.People learn together, work together to develop each other.therefore, I want parents and teachers to educate children
concentrating on co-operation, not compete and ranking them.
问题分析：
从论证大主题的角度来说，这一篇的最后的收尾是co-operation 更重要的成立的，但是这位考生在文字数量分配上缺乏规划，分配给competition的文字明显多于给co-operation的，这样就给了考官一个非常合情合理的借口扣分，实在是遗憾啊!
写作建议NO.5：If it is your preference, give it more reference.如果你更认同那个观点，那就在这个观点上多写点吧。
如果我们进一步看下Body段里的细节内容，其实这位考生的语法功力和逻辑论证能力比上面那位5分同学还要差，但是这篇文章把题目中的两个方面都提到，没有犯我的NO.3建议中的错误。除此之外，文字总量上这一篇文章叫上两篇都有绝对的优势，所以再强调下数量真的也很重要。
写作建议NO.6：A quantitative change causes a qualitativechange.
量变带来质变。
以上从不同分数段的写作特点为大家深入介绍了雅思大作文的高分技巧，考生们不妨加以参考，通过针对性的练习来逐步掌握雅思大作文的写作技巧，从而在雅思考试中发挥会更为出色的成绩。