heavy in weight, period in time, round in shape, at an early time, of cheap quality, honest in character, etc.
4. Emphasis
4.1 Using closing and opening positions for emphasis (p. 134 肖see Tb. p.61)
Put the key words at the beginning of a sentence; providing new information at the end (for emphasis) e.g.,
All medical papers, whether initial investigation, presentation of final statistics, or reports on work in progress, must undergo rigorous scrutiny.
All medical papers must undergo rigorous scrutiny, whether initial investigation, presentation of final statistics, or reports on work in progress.
Whether initial investigation, presentation of final
statistics, or reports on work in progress, all medical papers must undergo rigorous scrutiny.
4.2 Using climatic order
Arrange ideas in order of increasing importance, power, or drama: building to climax. e.g.,
The presence of the Indian in these movies always
conjures up destructive stereotypes of bloodthirsty war parties, horse thieves, and drunkenness.
The presence of the Indian in these movies always
conjures up destructive stereotypes of drunkenness, horse thieves, and bloodthirsty war parties.
4.3 Using strong verbs for emphasis Use more effective words. e.g.,
To me, cleaning toilets, sinks, and bathtubs is not fun at all. To me, scrubbing toilets, sinks, and bathtubs is not fun at all.
4.4 Using voice for emphasis (Tb. p. 62)
In most cases, it is advisable to use the active voice whenever possible. e.g.,
The image of American Indians has been totally distorted
by Hollywood in most of its films about the West.
Hollywood has totally distorted the image of
American Indians in most of its films about the West. 5. Variety
variety in sentence length variety in sentence types variety in sentence opening e.g.,
He reversed the direction of the canoe. After a few seconds he stopped paddling. Slowly he made the canoe drift to the bank. When within a yard of the shore, he grabbed one of the overhanging branches.
Inefficient Sentences Pronoun Reference 1. Ambiguous reference e.g.,
Albert told his uncle that his money had been stolen. (p. 39 Ma & Chen)
When Jack put the sculpture on the table, it broke.
(Ibid)
2. Weak reference 1) Implied reference e.g.,
My mother was a musician; therefore, I have also chosen it as my profession. (p. 40)
2) Unspecified reference e.g.,
I wished I had brought my raincoat, for it had become colder and I needed it. (p. 41)
3. Broad reference e.g.,
The new cashier was honest, she arrived at work on time, and she was well dressed. However, this was not enough to get her a permanent job. (p. 43)
Unnecessary Shifts
1. Unnecessary shifts in voice or subject e.g.,
After I finally discovered the tools, the dismantling of the engine was begun. (p. 63)
Mary won the first prize, while her brother was awarded the second. (p. 64)
2. Unnecessary shifts in tense e.g.,
We parked our car at the harbor and rented one of the boats that we use to get to the island.
Avoid shifts in perspective when two events happen in different times or during different periods. e.g.,
When I saw the grade on the report card, I was terribly disappointed, because I studied very hard.
Remember: it is the convention to use the historical present in writing about literature. e.g.,
The social worker in the novel makes extensive plans to
accomplish reforms, but all her efforts came to nothing.