10. It seems that nobody will ever be able to (learn, teach) Mario to take (fewer, less) chances with his car.
VII. Effective Word Choice
Choose your words carefully when you write. Always take the time to think about your word
choices rather than simply use the first word that comes to mind. You want to develop the habit of selecting words that are precise and appropriate for your purpose. One way you can show sensitivity to language is by avoiding slang, clichés, and pretentious words.
1. Slang
We often use slang expressions when we talk because they are so vivid and colorful. However, slang is usually out of place in formal writing. Here are some examples of slang:
Someone ripped off Ken’s new Adidas running shoes from his locker. After the game, we stuffed our faces at the diner. I finally told my parents to get off my case. The movie really grossed me out.
Slang expressions have a number of drawbacks. They go out of date quickly, they become tiresome if used excessively in writing, and they may communicate clearly to some readers but not to others. Also, the use of slang can be an evasion of the specific details that are often needed to make one’s meaning clear in writing. For example, in “The movie really grossed me out,” the writer has not provided the specific details about the movie necessary for us to clearly understand the statement. Was it acting, special effects, or violent scenes that the writer found so disgusting? In general, then, you should avoid slang in your writing. If you are in doubt about whether an expression is slang, it may help to check a recently published hardbound dictionary.
Exercise
Rewrite the following sentences, replacing the italicized slang words with more formal ones.
EXAMPLE When we told the neighbors to can the noise, they freaked out.
When we told the neighbors to be quiet, they got upset.
1. I didn’t realize how messed up Joey was until he stole some money from his parents and split for a month. 2. Greg was so bummed out the day he got fired that he didn’t do anything except veg out in front of the TV.
3. Theo was so wiped out after his workout at the gym that he couldn’t get it together to defrost a frozen dinner.
4. When Rick tried to put the move on Lola at the school party, she told him to shove off.
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5. The entire town was psyched that the corrupt mayor got busted.
2. Clichés
A cliché is an expression that has been worn out through constant use. Here are some typical clichés:
Clichés are common in speech but make your writing seem tired and stale. Also, they are often an evasion of the specific details that you must work to provide in your writing. You should, then, avoid clichés and try to express your meaning in fresh, original ways.
short but sweet last but not least drop in the bucket work like a dog had a bard time of it word to the wise it dawned on me
all work and no play it goes without saying at a loss for words
sigh of relief taking a big chance
too little, too late took a turn for the worse singing the blues easier said than done in the nick of time on top of the world too close for comfort time and time again saw the light make ends meet
Exercise
Underline the cliché in each of the following sentences. Then substitute specific, fresh words for the trite expression.
EXAMPLE My boyfriend has stuck with me through thick and thin.
through good times and bad
1. As the only girl in an otherwise all-boy family, I got away with murder.
2. When I realized I’d lost my textbook, I knew I was up the creek without a paddle. 3. My suggestion is just a shot in the dark, but it’s better than nothing.
4. Janice got more than she bargained for when she offered to help Larry with his math
homework. 5. Bob is pushing his luck by driving a car with bald tires.
6. On a hot, sticky midsummer day, iced tea or any frosty drink really hits the spot. 7. Nadia thanks her lucky stars that she was born with brains, beauty, and humility. 8. Anything that involves mathematical ability has always been right up my alley. 9. Your chance of buying a good used car from that dealer is one in a million.
10. Even when we are up to our eyeballs in work, our boss wonders if we have enough to do.
3. Pretentious Words
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Some people feel that they can improve their writing by using fancy, elevated words rather than simple, natural words. They use artificial, stilted language that more often obscures their meaning than communicates it clearly. Here are some unnatural-sounding sentences:
It was a splendid opportunity to get some slumber. We relished the delicious repast.
The officer apprehended the intoxicated operator of the vehicle. This establishment sells women’s apparel and children’s garments.
The same thoughts can be expressed more clearly and effectively by using plain, natural language, as below:
It was a good chance to get some sleep. We enjoyed the delicious meal.
The officer arrested the drunken driver. This store sells women’s and children’s clothes.
Here are some other inflated words and simpler words that could replace them:
Inflated Words Simpler Words subsequent to after transmit send facilitate help initiate begin delineate describe manifest shown to endeavor to try
Exercises
I. Cross out the inflated words in each sentence. Then substitute clear, simple language for the inflated words.
EXAMPLE The conflagration was initiated by an arsonist. The fire was started by an arsonist. 1. Rico and his brother do not interrelate in a harmonious manner. 2. The meaning of the movie’s conclusion eluded my comprehension. 3. The departmental conference will commence promptly at two o’clock. 4. A man dressed in odd attire accosted me on the street.
5. When my writing implement malfunctioned, I asked the professor for another.
II. Certain words are italicized in the following sentences. In the space provided at the left, identify the words as slang (S), a cliché (C), or pretentious words (PW). Then replace the words
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with more effective diction.
__________1. Losing weight is easier said than done for someone who loves sweets. __________2. After dinner, we washed the culinary utensils and wrapped the excess food. __________3. Bruce is so stubborn that talking to him is like talking to a brick wall. __________4. Michelle spent the summer watching the tube and catching rays.
__________5. The fans, all fired up after the game, peeled out of the parking lot and honked their horns.
_________ 6. The stew I made contained everything but the kitchen sink. _________ 7. That guy isn’t really a criminal; he’s just gotten a bum rap.
_________ 8. A company cannot implement changes and attain growth without input from its
personnel. _________ 9. I failed the test, and to add insult to injury, I got a low grade on my paper. _________ 10. I perused several periodicals while I waited for the doctor.
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