(b) funny
(c) depressing
(d) a mixture of all three
3 The passage is likely to say (b) .
(a) young people don??t think enough about death (b) life is short
(c) people are dying unnecessarily (d) people don??t enjoy life enough
We are all dying Background information
The passage is taken from Everything That Happens to Me Is Good, a book of thoughts, experiences and
insights from the life of Geoff Thompson. The writer worked in many different jobs, including nine years
as a ??bouncer?? in a nightclub in London (a bouncer has the tough job of making sure that no one causes
trouble, eg if they are rude, drunk or violent). He then trained full-time in karate, judo and other martial arts
and became well-known as a martial arts instructor. He lived out his dream to become a writer, authoring
over 30 books on self-defence and self-improvement and has recently been making films and writing for the
screen. Asked what he had learnt from his years in martial arts, he said, ??The main thing I??ve learned is that
wherever there is discomfort there is growth, but what people do is to look for growth in areas of comfort ??
and there??s no growth in comfort. So look for areas of growth that are uncomfortable but allow you to grow,
and learn to become comfortable in those areas.??
Language points
1 I have some good news and some bad news for you (as the joke goes). The bad news ?? and I??m very
sorry to be the bearer ?? is that we are all dying. It??s true. I??ve checked it out. (Para 1)
Good news and bad news are often paired together in jokes and in comments on new information or recent
events where there is a mixture of positive and negative aspects, eg The good news is ?? But the bad news is ?? To check something out means to examine something or someone in order to be
certain that everything is
correct, true, satisfactory or acceptable. Check this out! is an attention-getting exclamation which means
here??s something interesting to have a look at.
2 ?? we are all going to be either coffin dwellers or trampled ash in the rose garden of some local cemetery. (Para 1)
Coffin is a long box in which a dead person is buried. The expression coffin dweller is a humorous way to refer to dead people.
The expression trampled ash in the rose garden of some local cemetery refers jokingly to the ashes of a
dead person placed in a cemetery garden where people walk on the buried ashes.
Discovering yourself Unit 1 13
3 After all, we never quite know when the hooded, scythe-carrying, bringer-of-the-last-breath might come-a-calling. (Para 1)
The expression the hooded, scythe-carrying, bringer-of-the-last breath refers to the reaper, a person who
reaps or cuts corn for the harvest and is a symbol of death from medieval times of the West. A reaper is
personified as a tall figure dressed in a black cloak with a hood covering his face and carrying a scythe,
a cutting tool with a long curved metal blade used for cutting, or reaping long grass or corn. The reaper
brings death or brings your last breath. The expression when the reaper arrives means when death comes to you.
4 ?? and nothing underlines the uncertainty and absolute frailty of humanity like the untimely exit of a friend. (Para 1)
The word exit here means leaving this world or death. The word untimely means happening at a time that
is not suitable because it causes problems. An untimely death is too soon or when a person is young.
5 Knowing that we are all budding crypt-kickers takes away all the uncertainty of life. (Para 3)
That we are all budding crypt-kickers is a humorous way of saying that we are all potentially soon to be buried, ie dead.
6 The prologue and epilogue are already typed in. All that??s left is the middle bit ... choose the meat of the story. (Para 3)
A prologue is a piece of writing at the start of a book, or the beginning of
a play, film or TV programme
that introduces a story. An epilogue is at the end of a novel, play or piece of writing, which carries an extra
comment or extra information about what happens after the main story. Here, the writer??s point is that the
prologue (birth) and epilogue (end, death) of your life are already written, but we all choose to write the middle bit ?? the meat of the story.
7 So, all those plans that you have on the back burner, you know, the great things you??re going to do
with your life ??when the time is right??? (Para 4)
A back burner is literally one of the back parts of a cooker which is used for heating or cooking food. Metaphorically, if you put something on the back burner, it means you have decided not to do it until
later. It is at the back of the cooker, just simmering or cooking slowly, so you don??t give it priority because it doesn??t need your full attention. The expression this back-burner stuff (Para 10) thus refers to things
which have low priority and get little attention.
8 There??s only a promissory note that we are often not in a position to cash. (Para 5)
A promissory note is a document giving details of your promise to pay someone a particular amount of
money by a particular date. The writer means that tomorrow, or the future, is like a promissory note for
which you never get the cash, because the future never comes unless you act now and use time wisely, as if tomorrow is today.
9 ?? but regret and a rear-view mirror full of ??could haves??, ??should haves?? and ??would haves??. (Para 5)
A rear-view mirror is a mirror fixed to the front window of a car that lets the driver see what is happening
behind. Here, the mirror refers to the past, which is behind us. We don??t want such a mirror full of regrets
about things we could / should / would have done, but did not do.
Unit 1 Discovering yourself 14
10 I love watching people ingeniously stack the cucumber around the side of the bowl ?? like they??re
filling a skip ?? and then cramming it so high that they have to hire a forklift truck to get it back to
the table ?? They just know that they only have one shot at it. (Para 6) A skip is a large metal container used in the building industry for waste; it
is carried away by a truck when it is full.
A forklift truck is a vehicle that uses two long metal bars at the front for lifting and moving heavy objects.
The writer is using the images of a skip and a truck to emphasize how people use the opportunity to serve
themselves, because they only have one shot ?? they only have one chance or attempt, they can??t return for
more salad in this type of buffet, so they make the most of this opportunity. 11 So what I??m thinking is (and this is not molecular science) ?? (Para 10) It means this is not specialized knowledge. It??s not rocket science; it??s simple and straightforward. 12 The right time is the cheque that??s permanently in the post, it never arrives. (Para 10)
That the cheque is in the post means money has been sent, its on its way. This is often said as an excuse for late payment, so if the cheque??s permanently in the post, it means the money never comes.
13 It??s the girl who keeps us standing at the corner of the Co-op looking like a spanner ?? She??s stood us up. (Para 10) The expression looking like a spanner on the street corner means he looks awkward and out of place,
waiting for a girl who is late and never arrives.
To stand someone up means not to come to meet them when you have arranged to meet them, especially
someone with whom you are having or starting a romantic relationship. The word us is an informal and
personal way to include others who will recognize that this is a typical experience.
14 Act now or your time will elapse and you??ll end up as a sepia-coloured relative that no one can put
a name to in a dusty photo album. (Para 13)
The expression you??ll end up as a sepia-coloured relative means that in the end you will be only an
old half-forgotten photograph in a photo album. I can??t put a name to someone is said when you halfrecognize
a person but you can??t quite remember his name.
15 Better to leave a biography as thick as a whale omelette than an epitaph. (Para 14)
An omelette is flat round food made by mixing eggs together and cooking them. The expression as thick as a whale means extremely thick. The writer means it is better to leave a very large biography than an
epitaph, or, in other words, live a full life which is worth writing about.
Reading and understanding
3 Choose the best summary of the passage.
3 Life is short. So there??s no point in planning for a future which may never come. Now is the time to do
what we want to do. There??s no time to lose.
Dealing with unfamiliar words
4 Match the words in the box with their definitions.
1 involving three things of the same kind (triple)
2 an area of ground where dead people are buried (cemetery)
Discovering yourself Unit 1 15
3 the part of a place or thing that is at the back (rear)
4 a book that someone writes about someone else??s life (biography) 5 to put people or things into a space that is too small (cram)
6 at the very beginning of a career and likely to be successful at it (budding) 7 continuing only for a limited time or distance (finite) 8 to pass (elapse)
5 Complete the sentences with the correct form of the words in Activity 4.
1 About two hours elapsed before we reached the cemetery where the war dead were buried.
2 I sat in the rear seat behind the driver. My three sisters were all crammed in the front.
3 The entrance to the car park was blocked, so the road was full of cars which had been triple-parked one
against another, making it almost impossible to get past.
4 We have a number of budding authors in our class this year, one of whom has written a fascinating
biography of his grandmother.
5 The time we have on this earth may be finite, but there are no limits to the human imagination.
6 Answer the questions about the words.
1 If you substantiate a claim, do you (a) prove it is true, or (b) persuade someone that it is true?
2 If someone tramples over something, do they (a) pour water over it, or (b) walk all over it?
3 If someone??s arrival is untimely, is it (a) at the wrong moment, or (b) late? 4 If events are described chronologically, do they occur (a) in the order in