在论述上，叙述略显罗嗦。第二段心理描写过多，虽然流畅生动，但却使这篇考场作文超过了规定字数，反而成为失分点，这一点要引以为戒。 【高分版】Nothing Succeeds Without a Strong Will
As we have read from above, quitting-smoking seems easy, but in reality it is rarely achieved. There is something provoking and interesting in this paradox, just because sword does not wear the stone as dripping water does.
The ability to do something over and over again in a short time may imply its easiness, but in a long run, a lifetime maybe, things turn out to be quite the opposite. Also, as is often the case, one may have obtained all the tools and opportunities to achieve something, but in the end they still fail due to the will shortage.
So how could we avoid the dilemma? Here is the prime condition of success: will and perseverance. Concentrate you energy, thought and mind exclusively on the business in which you are engaged, hang on in there and be patient, for, as Emerson put it, no one can cheat you out of your ultimate success but yourself. 【文章点评】
本次四级作文探讨的话题是成功与毅力之间的关系，话题不算新，一般考生对此都比较熟悉，所以对考生来说难度不大。写好这篇作文，需要抓住两点，一是紧跟题目要求，即对上述幽默性的话语做出评论，二是在评论的基础上要亮出自己的观点。 范文开头第一句即一针见血地对上述幽默性话语做出总结性概括，即戒烟看似简单实则很难，随后指出该话语本质上是一个悖论，并且以一个“水滴石穿”的俗语来指出困难所在，这句也是本文的一个亮点，体现作者在西方俗语方面丰富的知识储备。 第二段作者则进一步深入分析该话语，指出做某事在短期看来很容易，长期来看，恰恰相反，人们做事的结果也因此总是失败，原因则在最后一句点出：缺乏毅力。 第三段作者进一步给出了自己的观点，告诉大家如何避免陷入这种两难境地：首要条件即需要坚强的意志和长期的坚持。最后再以艾默生的一句名言 “没人能够骗你远离你最终的成功，除非你自己承认失败”来总结全文，切中主题，铿锵有力。
2011年6月 Part I
Writing
(30 minutes)
Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay on the topic of
Online Shopping. You should write at least 120 words following the outline given below:
1．现在网上购物已成为一种时尚 2．网上购物有很多好处，但也有不少问题 3．我的建议
Online Shopping
Part I Writing 标准版
Doing Shopping Online
With the development of the Internet, shopping is no longer a tiring thing. Just click your mouse to choose the articles you like, and the purchase is done. You don't even have to step out of the room. It seems all easy and quick. However, people's opinions vary on this trend. Some believe that on line shopping is time and money saving. With plentiful selection options, they can buy whatever they like at any time convenient. Still others insist that mis-purchasing alone is annoying enough, not to mention the credibility of the sellers and the safety of their accounts.
In my opinion, the convenience and excitement of on line shopping is beyond all doubts. In the meantime, we must always bear in mind that certain traps do exist, so we'd better make sure the sellers are trustworthy before buying. In addition, we should also guard ourselves from the potential hackers who might
steal our account information. 文章点评：
这是一篇“中等偏上”的学生作文。 本文先对网购热潮进行简介，引出全篇；接着对网络购物的正反两方面进行对比；最后提出自己的看法结束全篇。整体看思路清晰，逻辑严密，行文流畅，用语较为地道。 下面说一下这篇文章的有待提高之处：
1. 文章结构上，能看得出该同学试图采用议论文的“三段式”（提出问题、分析问题、解决问题）。 但是，以“With the development of the Internet”为开首语，有些落入俗套，有硬套模板的嫌疑。稍加注意，应该能写出更好的句子。
2. 微观语言点方面，有些语句稍显啰嗦，比如With plentiful selection options? 简化成With plentiful selections? 更好，意思没有丝毫减损，表达力反而增强许多。 高分版
With the help of the ever rapid development of internet technology, online shopping is coming into fashion in most of cities.
Online shopping is welcomed by most people due to various reasons. From the perspective of consumer, it can save some time for people who don't have much spare time. Just click the mouse, they can get whatever they want while staying at home. For the retailers, it can cut some costs for those who don't have much circulating funds. They don't have to rent a house and spend money on employees compared with the traditional trade mode. However, there are still some defects in online shopping. First, lace of face to face deal makes online shopping less reliable and trustworthy. Second, people will lose the fun of bargain. It is undeniable that shopping on the internet has become an irresistible
trend in modern society. It's of great urgency that we need to regulate the relative laws accordance with the rapid growth of online shopping. Only in this way can we enjoy the pleasure and convenience of online shopping without the concern of being treated. 点评：
本次四级作文探讨的是最近的热点话题之一——互联网网购。目前网购的风靡程度是众所周知，因此，考生对于该话题还是比较熟悉的。但是，比较特殊的是，题干所列出的要求的是考生从一个客观的角度来阐述该话题，而不是简单陈述自己的意见。所以，考生应当审清楚题，在写作时不仅仅要列出网购的优点，还必须给出相应的缺点。
按照四级作文的要求，考生在第一段时应该总述现象并引出话题；
第二段考生应当从正反两方面来论述网购，分别铺陈其优缺点；关于优点，网购的优点很多，考生可择其最突出显著的方面来阐述，比如说网购可以节省很多时间；网购可以节省很多成本开支等；其次，缺点方面考生可以把重心放在诚信方面；为了不至于跟优点相比，缺点方面太轻，考生可以考虑稍微提一下其他缺点，比如说与传统购物相比，网购少去了很多砍价的乐趣；
第三点要求考生对于第二段列出的缺点给出自己的建议。此处我们可以根据第二段列出的缺点方面给出相应的防范应对措施。
整篇作文话题比较好展开，难度不大，只要考生审好题，列出相应点，相信作文不会他是难题。
2010年12月大学英语四级真题
Part I Writing (30 minutes)
Directions：For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay entitled How
Should Parents Help Children to Be Independent? You should write at least 150 words following the outline given below. 1. 目前不少父母为孩子包办一切 2. 为了让孩子独立, 父母应该??
How Should Parents Help Children to Be Independent? .
Help Children to Be Independent
Thanks to the “family plan”policy,today in China many families have one child.Loving and caring for children is an old Chinese tradition that has remained for thousands of years.But the children are spoilt so much that they have less independence.They rely on their parents in everything.That is bad for a child's growing.Therefore,parents should develop the children's independence instead of doing everything for them.
There are some ways to help children to be independent.First of all,you should believe your children can do the things well.Second,give them more chances to practise,when they don't know how to do it,just tell them the way.Third,don't be afraid to see them fail.In the beginning,they may do something bad.But don't worry,just let them try again.They can do the work as well as you if given more time.
To be independent is good for the children.A child who is independent will succeed easily in the future.
2010年6月英语四级考试真题
Part I Writing (30 minutes)
注意：此部分试题在答题卡1上。