In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them.John Von Neumann
I have made this [letter] longer, because I have not had the time to make it shorter.Blaise Pascal
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.George Burns
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. Rita Mae Brown. Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.René Descartes He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.Mae West
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.Robert Benchley
We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police. Jeff Marder.
驾校一点通365网 http://www.jxedt365.com/sichuan/ 四川驾校一点通 George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.Steven Wright
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love .Woody Allen First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.George Burns
Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.Steven Wright
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'Woody Allen
Submitted by Britt Robin Good looks only carry you so far & you my dear had a short ass trip
I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.George Burns
George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.George Carlin
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.Woody Allen
Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth.Dave Barry
In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.Spike Milligan I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel, and incompetent comes naturally to me.John Cleese
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.Groucho Marx
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.Woody Allen
We live in a country where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest. Yoko Ono is standing right next to him. Not one F**king bullet. Explain that to me! Explain that to me!Denis Leary