retired from my job, I've had to cope with the physical, mental, and emotional stresses of being \For one thing, I've had to adjust to physical changes. Now that I'm over sixty, the trusty body that carried me around for years has turned
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traitor. Aside from the deepening wrinkles on my face and neck, and the wiry gray hairs that have replaced my brown hair, I face more frightening changes. 8I don't have the energy I used to. 9My eyes get tired. 10Once in a while, I miss something that's said to me. My once faithful feet seem to have lost their comfortable soles, and I sometimes feel I'm walking on marbles. 12In order to fight against this slow decay, I exercise whenever I can. 13I walk, I stretch, and I climb stairs. 14I battle constantly to keep as fit as possible. 15I’m also trying to cope with mental changes.
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My mind was once as quick and sure as a champion gymnast, I never found it difficult to memorize answers in school or to remember the names of people I met.
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Now, I occasionally have to search my mind for the name of a close neighbor or favorite television show. 19Because my mind needs exercise, too, I challenge it as much as I can. 20Taking a college course like this English class, for example, forces me to concentrate. 21The mental gymnast may be a little slow and out of shape, but he can still do a back flip or turn a somersault when he has to. 22Finally, I must deal with the emotional impact of being old. 23Our society typecasts old people. 24We're supposed
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to be unattractive, senile, useless leftovers. We're supposed to be the crazy drivers and the cranky customers. At first, I was angry and frustrated that I was considered old at all. And I knew that people were wrong to stereotype me. Then I got depressed. I even started to think that maybe I was a cast-off, one of those old animals that slow down the rest of the herd. 30But I have now decided to rebel against these negative feelings. 31I try to have friends of all ages and to keep up with what's going on in the world. 32I try to remember that I'm still the same person who sat at a first-grade desk, who fell in love, who comforted a child, who got a raise at work. 33I'm not \34Coping with the changes of old age has become my latest full-time job. 35Even though it's a job I never applied for, and one for which I had no experience, I'm trying to do the best I can.
Thesis statement in \Topic sentence of first supporting paragraph: _____________________________ Topic sentence of second supporting paragraph: __________________________ Topic sentence of third supporting paragraph: __________________________ First sentence of the conclusion: _____________________________________
2. Evaluating Thesis Statements
As was explained, some writers announce a subject instead of stating a true thesis idea. Others write a dead-end thesis statement that is too narrow to need support or development. Contrasting with such a dead-end statement is the statement that is wide open — too broad to be adequately supported in the limited space of a five-hundred-word essay. Other thesis statements are vague or contain more than one idea. They suggest that the writer has not thought out the main point sufficiently.
Exercise 1
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Write A beside each sentence that is an announcement rather than a thesis statement. Write OK beside the statement in each pair that is a clear, limited point which could be developed in an essay.
1. _____ a. This essay will discuss the people you meet in exercise class.
_____ b. The kinds of workout clothes worn in my aerobics class identify \
and \
2. _____ a. I made several mistakes in the process of trying to win the respect and affection of my teenage stepson.
_____ b. My thesis in this paper is relationships between stepparents and stepchildren. 3. _____ a. A period of loneliness can teach you to use your creativity, sort out your values, and feel empathy for others.
_____ b. Loneliness is the subject of this paper.
4. _____ a. This paper will be about sharing housework.
_____ b. Deciding who will perform certain unpleasant household chores can be the crisis that makes or breaks a marriage.
5. _____ a. My concern here is to discuss \_____ b. There are several possible explanations for the similar \experiences
reported by some patients.
Exercise 2
Write TN beside each statement that is too narrow to be developed in an essay. Write OK beside the statement in each pair that is a clear, limited point.
1. _____ a. I had squash, tomatoes, and corn in my garden last summer. _____ b. Vegetable gardening can be a frustrating hobby.
2. _____ a. The main road into our town is lined with billboards. _____ b. For several reasons, billboards should be abolished.
3. _____ a. There are now more single-parent households in our country than ever before. _____ b. Organization is the key to being a successful single parent.
4. _____ a. My first job taught me that I had several bad work habits.
_____ b. Because I was late for work yesterday, I lost an hour's pay and was called in to see the
boss. 5. _____ a. Americans abuse alcohol because it has become such an important part of our personal
and public celebrations. _____ b. Consumption of wine, beer, and hard liquor increases in the United States every year. Exercise 3:
Write TB beside each statement that is too broad to be developed in an essay. Write OK beside the statement in each pair that is a clear, limited point.
1. _____ a. In many ways, sports are an important part of American life.
_____ b. Widespread gambling has changed professional football for the worse. 2. _____ a. Modern life makes people suspicious and unfriendly.
_____ b. A frightening experience in my neighborhood has caused me to be a much more
cautious person in several ways.
3. _____ a. Toy ads on television teach children to be greedy, competitive, and snobbish. _____ b. Advertising has bad effects on all of society.
4. _____ a. Learning new skills can be difficult and frustrating.
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_____ b. Learning to write takes work, patience, and a sense of humor.
5. _____ a. I didn't get along with my family, so I did many foolish things.
_____ b. Running away from home taught me that my parents weren't as terrible as I thought. Exercise 4
For each pair, write 2 beside the statement that contains more than one idea. Write OK beside the statement that is a clear, limited point.
1.______a. Working with old people changed my stereotyped ideas about the elderly.
______b. My life has moved in new directions since the rewarding job I had working with older
people last summer. 2. _____a.The new architecture on this campus is very unpleasant, although the expansion was desperately needed.
_____ b. Our new college library building is ugly, intimidating, and inefficient.
3 _______a. Among the most entertaining ads on TV today are those for mail order products. ______b. Although ads on TV for mail-order products are often misleading, they can still be very entertaining.
4. ______a. My roommate and I are compatible in most ways, but we still have conflicts at times. ______ b. My roommate has his own unique systems for studying, writing term papers, and
cleaning our room.
5. _____a. Although some good movies have come out lately, I prefer to watch old movies
because they're more interesting.
_____b. Movies of the 1930s and 1940s have better plots, sets, and actors than movies made today.
3. Limiting a Topic and Writing a Thesis Statement
The following two activities will give you practice in distinguishing general from limited subjects and in writing a thesis.
Exercise 1
Look carefully at the ten general subjects and ten limited subjects below. Then write a thesis statement for any five of them.
Hint: To create a thesis statement for a limited subject, ask yourself, \point do I want to make about. General Subject Limited Subject 1. Apartment 1. Sharing an apartment with a roommate 2. Self-improvement 2. Behavior toward others 3. Family 3. My mother 4. Eating 4. Fast-food restaurants 5. Automobiles 5. Bad driving habits 6. Health 6. Regular exercise 7. Owning a house 7. Do-it-yourself home repairs 8. Baseball 8. Free-agent system 9. Parenthood 9. Being a single parent 10. Pollution 10. Noise pollution Thesis statements for five of the limited subjects:
4. Identifying Adequate Supporting Evidence
Exercise:
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The following body paragraphs were taken from student essays. Two of the paragraphs provide sufficient details to support their topic sentences convincingly. Write AD for adequate development beside those paragraphs. Three paragraphs use vague, wordy, general, or irrelevant sentences instead of real supporting details. Write U for underdeveloped beside those paragraphs. 1. Another consideration in adopting a dog is the cost. Initial fees for shots and a license might add up to $40. Annual visits to the vet for heartworm pills, rabies or distemper shots, and general checkups could cost $50 or more. Then there is the cost of food. A twenty-five-pound bag of dry food (the cheapest kind) costs around $10. A large dog can eat that much in a couple of weeks.
2. People can be cruel to pets simply by being thoughtless. They don't think about a pet's needs, or they simply ignore those needs. It never occurs to them that their pet can be experiencing a great deal of discomfort as a result of their failure to be sensitive. The cruelty is a result of the basic lack of attention and concern—qualities that should be there, but aren't.
3. If I were in charge of the nighttime programming on a TV network, I would make changes. I would completely eliminate some shows. In fact, all the shows that proved to be of little interest would be canceled. Commercials would also change so that it would be possible to watch them without wanting to turn off the TV set. I would expand the good shows so that people would come away with an even better experience. My ideal network would be a great improvement over the average lineup we see today on any of the major networks.
4. A friend's rudeness is much more damaging than a stranger's. When a friend says sharply, \have time to talk to you just now,\When a friend shows up late for lunch or a shopping trip, with no good reason, you feel that you're being taken for granted. Worst, though, is when a friend pretends to be listening to you but his or her wandering eyes show a lack of attention. Then you feel betrayed. Friends, after all, are supposed to make up for the thoughtless cruelties of strangers.
5. Giving my first shampoo and set to a real person, after weeks of practicing on wigs, was a nerve-racking experience. The customer was a woman who acted very sure about what she came for. She tried to describe what she wanted, and I tried without much success to understand what she had in mind. Every time I did something, she seemed to be indicating in one way or another that it was not what she wanted. I got more and more nervous as I worked on her hair, and the nervousness showed. The worst part of the ordeal happened at the very end, when I added the final touches. Nothing, to this woman, had turned out right.
IV. Organize and Connect the Specific Evidence
As you are generating the specific details needed to support a thesis, you should be thinking about ways to organize and connect those details. All the details in your essay must cohere, or stick together, so that your reader will be able to move smoothly from one bit of supporting information to the next. This section shows you how to organize and connect supporting details by using (1) common methods of organization, (2) transitions, and (3) other connecting words.
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1. Common Methods of Organization
Two common methods used to organize the supporting material in an essay are time order and emphatic order. (You will learn more specific methods of development in Part Two of this book.)
Time, or chronological, order simply means that details are listed as they occur in time. First this is done; next this; then this; after that, this; and so on. Here is an outline of an essay in this book in which time order is used:
Thesis: To exercise successfully, you should follow a simple plan consisting of arranging the
time, making preparations, and warming up properly. 1. To begin with, set aside a regular hour for exercise. 2. Next, prepare for your exercise session. 3. Finally, do a series of warm-up activities.
Fill in the missing words:
The topic sentences in the essay use the words _______________ , __________ , and __________ to help show time order.
Here is one supporting paragraph from the essay:
Next, prepare for your exercise session. You do this, first, by not eating or drinking anything for an hour before the session. Why risk an upset stomach? Then, dress comfortably in something that allows you to move freely. Because you'll be in your own home, there's no need to invest in a high-fashion dance costume. A loose T-shirt and shorts are good. A bathing suit is great in summer, and in winter long underwear is warm and comfortable. If your hair tends to flop in your eyes, pin it back or wear a headband or scarf. After dressing, prepare the exercise area. Turn off the phone and lock the door to prevent interruptions. Shove the coffee table out of the way so that you won't bruise yourself on it. Finally, get out the simple materials you'll need to exercise on. Fill in the missing words:
The paragraph uses the following words to help show time order: ___________, __________, __________, ____________, and ____________.
Emphatic order is sometimes described as \the best till last.\It is a way to put emphasis on the most interesting or important detail by placing it in the last part of a paragraph or in the final supporting paragraph of an essay. (In cases where all the details seem equal in importance, the writer should impose a personal order that seems logical or appropriate.) The last position in a paper is the most emphatic position because the reader is most likely to remember the last thing read. Finally, last of all, and most important are typical words or phrases showing emphasis. Here is an outline of an essay in this book that uses emphatic order: Thesis: Celebrities lead very stressful lives.
1. For one thing, celebrities don't have the privacy an ordinary person does. 2. In addition, celebrities are under constant pressure.
3. Most important, celebrities must deal with the stress of being in constant danger.
Fill in the missing words: The topic sentences in the essay use the words _______________, _______________, and _______________to help show emphatic order. Here is the third supporting paragraph from the essay:
Most important, celebrities must deal with the stress of being in constant danger.
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