The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:\me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?\
\venture an answer, \said an old lady. \have worn them off sitting here so long.\
教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了？”
“我来试试看，”一位老太太说。
“该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。”
A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, \for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat.\he took the apples and threw them away into the dust. He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, \cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river.\go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them. Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time. 【译文】 一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去，当他沿着路走时，在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果，他说：“我不打算吃那些苹果，因为富人会给我更多的食物，他会给我很好吃的东西。”然后他拿起苹果，一把扔到土里去。 他继续走，来到河边，河涨水了，因此，他到不了河对岸，他等了一会儿，然后他说：“今天我去不了富人家了，因为我不能渡过河。” 他开始回家，那天他没有吃东西。他就开始去找吃的，他找到苹果，很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了。 不要把好东西扔掉，换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处。
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. \you yesterday?\\gave it to a poor old woman,\he answered. \good boy,\said the mother proudly. \two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?\.\ 好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, \the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?\\my son,\his father replied, \standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.\ 醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一块儿回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，?醉?字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
Sleeping Pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office,
strolled in and said to his boss: \ \ 安眠药
鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。
星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。” “好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？”
普通英语故事
Story 1 I Don?t Like Her Bob goes to a new school.
One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks. “I don?t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.”
故事1 我不喜欢她
鲍勃的去了所新学校。
一天，他回到家，他妈妈问他：“你喜欢你的新老师吗？”
“不，我不喜欢她，妈妈。因为她先说3加3等于6，然后她又说2加4等于6.”
Story 2 Ten Candies
Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?” “Ten.” Jim says. “Then,” Mother asks.
“Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn?t it right?”
故事2 十块糖
妈妈问儿子：“吉姆， 如果你有10块糖，吃了4块，那你还有几块糖？” “10块。”吉姆说。
“10块？”妈妈问。
“是的，妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面，6块在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不对吗？”
Story 3 Count Tomorrow Morning It?s a right. John is looking at the sky.
Tom is John?s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?” John says, “I?m counting stars.”
Tom laughs and says, “It?s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?”
故事3 明天早上数
这是一个晚上。约翰抬头看着天空。
汤姆是约翰的弟弟。他问约翰：“你在干什么？” 约翰说：“我在数星星。”
汤姆笑着说：“现在天空太黑了。你为什么不等到明天早上再数呢？”
Story 4 Are Flies Yummy?
Tony and his father are eating dinner.
Suddenly Tony asks his father, “Dad, are flies yummy?”
Dad frowns and says, “No, I think it?s yucky. Why do you ask me this question? It?s a silly question.”
But Tony says, “ There was one fly in your plate.”
故事4 苍蝇好吃吗？
托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。
突然，托尼问他的爸爸：“爸爸，苍蝇好吃吗？”
爸爸皱眉说：“我想不好吃。你怎么会问这个问题？这可是一个愚蠢的问题。” 可是托尼说：“刚才你盘子里有一只苍蝇。”
Story 5 I Don?t Want to Walk Home
Tom is a very old man. After dinner, he likes walking in the street. And he goes to bed at seven o?clock.
But tonight, a car stopped at his house. A policeman helps him get out. He tells Tom?s wife, “The old man couldn?t find his way in the street. He asked me to take him in the car.”
After the policeman leaves there, his wife asks, “Tom, you go to the street every night. But tonight you can?t find the way, what?s the matter?”
The old man smiles like a child and says, “I couldn?t find my way? I didn?t want to walk home.”
故事5 我不想走回家
汤姆是一位老人，他喜欢在晚饭后到大街上散步，在7点回来睡觉。 但是，今天晚上一辆小汽车停在他家门前，汤姆在一位警察的帮助下走下汽车。警察告诉汤姆的妻子：“这位老人在街上迷路了，他让我用汽车送他回来。” 警察走后：“汤姆，你每天都到那条街上散步，但是今天你迷路了，你怎么了？” 这位老人像孩子般的笑道：“我迷路了？我是不想走路回家。”
Story 6 It Must Be Crowded
A teacher is telling his students, “The moon is very large. Several millions people can live there.”
And a boy laughs and says, “It must get crowded when it?s a crescent moon.” 故事6 一定很拥挤
一位告诉学生：“月亮非常大，上面能住几百人。”
一个男孩笑着说：“当月亮变成月牙的时候，住在上面的人该多拥挤啊！”
Story 7 It?s Good to Admit a Fault
John is not a “good” student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again. “John!” Teacher says angrily.
“What? What?s wrong?” John is awaken.
“Why do you make a face? It?s classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing.” Teacher says.
“No one is laughing.” Teacher says.
“No, it?s not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping.” John fells upset.
“Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy.” Teacher is satisfied with it.
故事 7 认错
约翰并不是个“好”学生。他总是在上课的时候睡觉。今天他又睡着了。 “约翰！”老师生气地喊他。
“什么？出什么事了？”约翰醒了。
“你为什么要做鬼脸？这是教室！看看！同学们都在笑！”老师生气地说。 “没有人在笑呀。”其他同学笑声地嘀咕。
“不，不是我。我没有做鬼脸。刚才我睡着了。”约翰感到不安。
“嗯，还不错。你承认自己的错误，还是给好孩子”老师为此感到满意。
Story 8 Adding Feet to a Snake
One day, Mr. Lion holds a party. Many animals come and drink a lot of wine. At last there is a pot of wine. Who can drink it? They drink out an idea and decide to have a match-Draw a snake. If you finish first, you can get it.
Soon Mr.Wolf finishes drawing. “Yeah, I?ve finished. I?m No.1,” he says. But he draws again and says, “Oh, let me add feet and my snake.” At the time, Mr. Gorilla also finishes. He takes away the pot of wine and drinks, then he says, “That isn?t a snake. Snakes have no feet. I get the wine.”