大学英语泛读第三版《Shame》中英文双译 - 图文

Shame 羞耻 Who felt ashamed? And ashamed of 谁感到羞愧？什么使他羞愧？为what? Why did the narrator write 什么作者要描写他对这个小女孩青涩about his calf love for the little 的暗恋？爱与自卑之间到底有什么联girl? What’s the relationship 系？理解了这些，你将找到这个故事的between love and shame? Having 主题。 （48） understood these, you will have got the key to this story. （48） I never learned hate at home, or 我在家从未有过憎恶感、羞耻感，shame. I had to go to school for 而自从去了学校，我就有了这样的感that. I was about seven years old 受。记得大约7岁那年，我得到了一次when I got my first big lesson. I was 深刻的教训。那时，我喜欢上一个叫海in love with a little girl named 琳·塔克的小女孩，她肤色白皙，扎着Helene Tucker, a light-complexioned 马尾辫，举止也很优雅。她在校总是衣little girl with pigtails and nice 着整洁，成绩优异。我觉得我去学校主manners. She was always clean and 要是为了看她。我会梳理好自己的头发she was smart in school. I think I 并带上一块旧的小手帕。尽管这手帕是went to school then mostly to look 一个妇人的，可我却不想让海琳看到我at her. I brushed my hair and even 用手擦鼻涕的样子。天很冷，水管再次got me a little old handkerchief. It 冰冻，尽管家里没有水，但我仍会在每was a lady’s handkerchief, but I 天晚上清洗我的袜子和衬衣。我会拿上didn’t want Helene to see me wipe 一个罐子去本先生的食品杂货店，将它my nose on my hand. The pipes were 放在苏打水冷藏柜下面，然后掏出一些frozen again, there was no water in 冰块放在里面。到了晚上，我就可以用the house, but I washed my socks and 那些冰块化成的水来洗衣服。那年冬天shirt every night. I’d get a pot, 我常常生病，因为在夜晚炉火会在衣服and go over to Mister Ben’s grocery 烘干之前熄灭。到第二天早晨，不管那store, and stick my pot down into his 衣服是湿还是干，我都会穿上，因为那soda machine. Scoop out some chopped 是我唯一的衣服。 ice. By evening the ice melted to water for washing. I got stick a lot that winter because the fire would go out at night before the clothes were dry. In the morning I’d put them on, wet or dry, because they were the only clothes I had. Everybody’s got a Helene 每个人的心中都有一个海琳·塔Tucker, a symbol of everything you 克，她就是你所想的一切优点的代表。want. I loved her for her goodness, 我喜欢她，因为她善良、整洁、人缘好。her cleanness, her popularity. 如果她走在我回家的路上，我的兄弟姐She’d walk down my street and my 妹就会大声叫道“海琳来了”，然后我brothers and sisters would yell, 会将网球鞋的鞋面在裤脚上擦几下，希“Here comes Helene,” and I’d rub 望我的头发不那么凌乱，普通的白色衬my tennis sneakers on the back of my 衫更加服帖。接着就冲到路上，如果我pants and wish my hair wasn’t so 知趣的话，便不会走得太近，这时她就nappy and the white folks’ shirt 会向我眨眼并问好。那是一种很不错的fit me better. I’d run out on the 感觉。有时候，我会一直跟在她后面走，street. If I knew my place and 铲去路上的积雪，并试图和她的妈妈、didn’t come too close, she’d wink 阿姨做朋友。晚上，我会在从小旅馆擦at me and say hello. That was a good 鞋回来的路上将钱放在她家的门阶上。 feeling. Sometimes I’d follow her 她有个爸爸，工作不错，是个糊墙纸工。 all the way home, and shovel the snow （47） off her walk and try to make friends with her Momma and her aunts. I’d drop my money on her stoop late at night on my way back from shining shoes in the taverns. And she had a Daddy, and he had a good job. He was a paper hanger. （47） I guess I would have gotten over 我猜想到夏天我便会把海琳忘却， Helene by summertime, but something 但是22年以来，在那间教室发生的事happened in that classroom that made 情，使她的面孔在我脑海里挥之不去。her face hang in front of me for the 我为了她，在高中参加击鼓活动，在大next twenty-two years. When I played 学打破了某项记录。甚至当我站在台上the drums in high school it was for 的麦克风边上听到掌声时，我也是希望Helene and when I broke track 她能够听到这些的。一直到22岁，我records in college it was for Helene 结婚了，工作赚钱了，她才终于从我的and when I started standing behind 生命中淡去，不再影响我。当我为自己microphones and heard applause I 感到羞愧时，海琳就坐在那间教室里。 wished Helene could hear it, too. It wasn’t until I was twenty-nine years old and married and making money that I finally got her out of my system. Helene was sitting in that classroom when I learned to be ashamed of myself. It was on a Thursday. I was 那个周四，我坐在教室的后面的位sitting in the back of the room, in 子上，座位周围被人用粉笔画了个圈，a seat with a chalk circle drawn 代表这儿坐着的是个白痴，是个麻烦制around it. The idiot’s seat, the 造者。 trouble-maker’s seat. The teacher thought I was 老师认为我是个笨蛋。我不会拼stupid. Couldn’t spell, couldn’t 写，不会朗读，不会算术。我就是个笨read, couldn’t do arithmetic. Just 蛋 ！老师从来不会花心思去注意到你stupid. Teachers were never 因为没有吃早饭因为肚子很饿而没有interested in finding out that you couldn’t concentrate because you were so hungry, because you hadn’t had any breakfast. All you could think about was noontime, would it ever come? Maybe you could sneak into the cloakroom and steal a bite of some kid’s lunch out of a coat pocket. A bite of something. Paste. You can’t really make a meal of paste, or put it on bread for a sandwich, but sometimes I’d scoop a few spoonfuls out of the paste jar in the back of the room. Pregnant people get strange tastes. I was pregnant with poverty. Pregnant with dirt and pregnant with smells that made people turn away, pregnant with cold and pregnant with shoes that were never bought for me, pregnant with five other people in my bed and no Daddy in the next room, and pregnant with hunger. Paste doesn’t taste too bad when you are hungry. （43） The teacher thought I was a troublemaker. All she saw from the front of the room was a little black boy who squirmed in his idiot’s seat and made noises and poked the kids around him. I guess she could not see a kid who made noises because he wanted someone to know he was there. It was on a Thursday, The day before the Negro payday. The eagle always flew on Friday. The teacher was asking each student how much his father would give to the Community Chest. On Friday night, each kid would get the money from his father, and on Monday he would bring it to the school. I decided I was going to buy me a Daddy right then. I had 集中注意力。你所能想到的也就是中午，中午还能不能到得了呢？也许你可以溜进衣帽间，偷一些孩子们大衣口袋里的午饭来吃。一点儿吃的，比如浆糊。你不可能真的拿浆糊当饭，或者将它们涂在面包上当三明治；但是有时候，我还是会从教室后面的浆缸里舀几匙浆糊。怀孕的人口味很怪，而我却是满怀贫困，满怀污垢和令人掩鼻的臭味，满怀凄凉和寒冷。我从来没穿过专为我买的鞋子，我的床上还挤着另外5个人，可是隔壁房间里没有爸爸。并且饥饿一直与我同在。当我非常饿的时候，浆糊吃起来也就不那么难以下咽了。 （43） 老师认为我是一个麻烦制造者。她总是在教室前面看见一个黑人小男孩愚蠢地坐在座位上，东张西望制造噪音影响其他孩子，却看不见这个孩子之所以弄出声音是想引起老师的注意。 那一天是周四，黑人发薪日的前一天。福利金通常是在周五发放。老师要求每一位学生问他们的父亲可以为社区福利基金捐多少钱。在周五晚上，每位孩子都会从他们父亲那儿拿到钱，并在周一将钱带到学校。我决定我要给自己买一个爸爸。我口袋里的钱是靠擦皮鞋、卖报纸挣来的。并且无论海琳?塔克从她爸爸那儿拿多少钱，我都要超越它。我现在手里有钱，直到周一才会以money in my pocket from shining shoes and selling papers, and whatever Helene Tucker pledged for her Daddy I was going to top it. And I’d hand the money right in. I wasn't going to wait until Monday to buy me a Daddy. I was shaking, scared to death. The teacher opened her book and started calling out names alphabetically. “Helene Tucker？” “My daddy said he’d give two dollars and fifty cents .” “That's very nice, Helene. Very, very nice indeed.” That made me feel pretty good. I wouldn't take too much to top that. I had almost three dollars in dimes and quarters in my pocket. I stuck my hand in my pocket and held onto the money, waiting for her to call my name. But the teacher closed her book after she called everybody else in the class. I stood up and raised my hand. “What is it now？” “You forget me.” （49） She turned toward the blackboard. \don't have time to be playing with you, Richard.\\\down, Richard, you're disturbing the class.\\daddy said he'd give...fifteen dollars.\She turned around and looked mad. \for you and your kind, Richard Gregory. If your daddy can give fifteen dollars you have no business being on relief.\\爸爸的名义拿出来。 我有点发抖，紧张得要死。老师打开她的书，开始按字母顺序叫名字。 “海琳?塔克？” “我爸爸说他会给两美元五十美分。 “那太好了。海琳，非常，非常好。” 这让我感觉非常好。我不会花太多钱去超越它。我口袋里有好多一角硬币和二十五分硬币，差不多三美元。我把手放进口袋里，牢牢地抓住钱，等待她叫我的名字。但是老师喊了教室每一个人的名字后合上了书。 我站起来，举起我的手。 “现在是怎么回事？” “你忘了我。” （49） 她转过身面朝着黑板：“我没有时间陪你玩，理查德。” “我爸爸说他可以??” “坐下，理查德，你在扰乱课堂秩序。” “我爸爸说他可以捐??捐十五美元。” 她转过来，看起来十分生气：“我们是在为你还有和你一样的人募捐，理查德·格雷戈里。如果你的爸爸能捐出十五美元，那你还需要什么政府扶助金？” “我现在就带它着呢，我现在带着right now, my Daddy gave it to me to 呢，我爸爸把钱给我让我今天交的，他turn in today, my daddy said?\ 说??” \furthermore,\she said, “还有，”她盯着我说，她的鼻孔looking right at me, her nostrils 在扩张，嘴唇越抿越紧，眼睛也瞪得大getting big and her lips getting 大的。“我们都知道你没有爸爸。” thin and her eyes opening wide, \ know you don't have a daddy.\ Helene Tucker turned around, 海琳·塔克转过头来，她的眼睛里her eyes full of tears. She felt 噙满泪水。她为我感到难过。然后我就sorry for me. Then I couldn't see her 看不清她了，因为我也哭了。 too well because I was crying, too. \“坐下，理查德。” And I always thought the teacher 我一直以为老师是有点儿喜欢我kind of liked me. She always picked 的，她总是在星期五放学后让我擦洗黑me to wash the blackboard on Friday, 板。那曾使我很激动，觉得自己很重要。after school. That was a big thrill; 如果我不擦洗黑板，也许下周一学校就it made me feel important. If I 不能正常上课了。 didn't wash it, come Monday the school might not function right. “Where are you going, “你要去哪儿，理查德？” Richard?” I walked out of school that day, 那天我走出了学校，此后很长一段and for a long time I didn’t go back 时间我都没怎么回去。因为那里曾让我very often. There was shame there. 感到羞耻。 （53） （53） Now there was shame everywhere. 现在我觉得羞愧的无地自容，教室It seemed like the whole world had 就像我的整个世界，每个人都听到了老been inside that classroom, 师的话，每个人都面带歉意的看向我。everyone had heard what the teacher 参加年度最值得的孩子的圣诞晚宴也had said, everyone had turned around 让我觉得羞愧，因为所有人都知道这个and felt sorry for me. There was “最值得的孩子”是什么。为什么他们shame in going to the Worthy Boys 不能直接叫年度儿童晚宴？为什么他Annual Christmas Dinner for you and 们非要那么叫它？我为穿着福利院给your kind, because everybody knew 三千个孩子的棕色，橙色和白色格子花what a worthy boy was. Why couldn’t 彩格厚呢外衣而感到羞愧，为什么每个they just call it the Boys Annual 人穿的都一样以至于你一走在大街上，Dinner, Why’d they have to give it 人们就知道你是靠着救济生活的人。那a name? There was shame in wearing 件外衣是件很好的暖和的衣服，它还带the brown and orange and white plaid 有一个风帽，当我妈妈在塞满垃圾的桶mackinaw the welfare gave to there 底找到它的时候，她打骂了我，并说，thousand boys. Why’d it have to be 我是一个小人。我为每天晚上跑去本先the same for everybody so when you 生家要他的腐烂的桃子感到羞愧，我为walked down the street the people 向西蒙先生要一勺糖而羞耻，我为跑去could see you were on relief? It was 救济车而感到自卑。我恨那辆车，装满a nice warm mackinaw and it had a 了给你的食物和善意。当它再次来的时hood, and my Momma beat me and called 候我跑到屋子里藏了起来，然后从小路me a little rat when she found out 跑到远处，他们就不会在那家免费餐厅I stuffed it in the bottom of a pail 看到我。是啊，那天整个世界都听到了full of garbage way over on Cottage 老师说了什么，我们都知道你没有爸Street. There was a shame in running 爸。 （48） over to Mister Ben’s at the end of the day and asking for his rotten peaches, there was shame in asking Mrs. Simmons for a spoonful of sugar, there was shame in running out to meet the relief truck. I hated that truck, full of food for you and your kind. I ran into the house and hid when it came. And then I started to sneak through alleys to take the long way home so the people going into White’s Eat Shop wouldn’t see me. Yeah, the whole heard the teacher that day, we all know you don’t have a Daddy. （48）