展段和文章的主题紧密相关,文章的主题限制着发展段的内容,发展段必须支持文章的主题,即发展段的内容必须从不同的角度说明、叙述、论证、支持文章的主题。然而,有不少考生写的句子大多是对主题思想的简单重复,显得空洞,给人留下罗嗦的感觉。
例如:The Career I Pursue,其发展段要求回答和说明:为什么我选择这个事业?这就需要考生自己思考,如何充分说明这一问题。如果不动脑子,就会像一位考生那样,写出下例开头段的样子:
I like to be a teacher because teaching is a noble cause. Teaching is very important in our society. I like it because it is such a great task that it creates useful people for our society. The cause is so noble that no any jobs can compare it. I realize the significance of being a teacher and I will be proud to devote myself to the great cause. I am determined to study hard in order to be a qualified teacher after graduation.
不谈文中有不少用词和语法错误,文章本身显然没有展开,没有发展。写了不少句子,但都是无谓的重复。说如何如何重要,但为什么重要,为什么选择这个事业,还是没有说清。我们再看下面这一段:
A variety of reasons have led me to choose this occupation over other more lucrative ones. First, teaching is learning. To make my lectures more interesting, I have to read more books, explore new knowledge and gain a better understanding of the world—the very thing I like to do in my life. Second, teaching means freedom. As a teacher, I can use and test my own ideas and be my own boss in class. Finally, I like teaching because it offers a certain peace of mind. No more rushing to catching a morning bus, no more anxiety to please a boss, and no more worries about being laid off because you are getting old.
这一发展段有层次,有内容。作者从三个方面来展开说明“为什么选择这个事业”,令人信服。
3. 结尾段 (concluding paragraph)
结尾段与引言段和发展段一样重要。结尾应该是文章发展的自然结果。好的结尾,或是嘎然而止,收缩有力,或是言近意远,起到深化主题的作用。
结尾段可以总结全文,加深读者印象;也可以发出号召,唤起读者共鸣;还可以表示作者的信念,增强文章的力量,或提出问题,启发读者思考。总之,结尾应该给读者一个完整的印象。如The Career I Pursue一文讨论了选择教师职业的三条理由:有机会继续学习,有很大的自由,有一个平静的心态。而结尾一句话把这三个内容都概括进去了:
To me, nothing is more important than the opportunity to continue learning, the freedom to be my own boss and the gentle peace of life.
文章的结尾有两条原则:一是照应开头;二是概括全文。原则虽只有两条,但运用起来则千变万化,这便是技巧。下面介绍几种结尾的方法: 1) 综合全文、概括中心结尾
In conclusion, Chinese English teaching is to be reformed. Students should be centered on, culture knowledge should be introduced in language teaching, and examination should be dealt with appropriately. 2) 引用经典格言
用格言、谚语或习语来总结全文。所引用的名言一定要与前面的观点相符,以让读者接受论点。如:
In short, early rising is very advantageous to everyone. Just as Benjamin Franklin said, ―Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. 3)展望未来,指明方向的结尾法
I hope those cigarette addicts will show more concern to themselves and others and give up smoking, or at least do not smoke in public places. 4) 提问结尾法
用提出问题的方法结尾能启发读者的思考,使文章回味无穷。如:
There is some truth in both arguments, but I think the disadvantages of euthanasia(安乐死)outweigh its advantages. The legalization of it will raise serious moral and social issues. Without euthanasia, I wonder, can’t doctors come up with better ways to lessen the pain of the terminally ill persons?
5) 提出建议结尾法
解释类和图示类的作文常用这种方法结尾。在文章的前半部分提出并揭示某一问题及其产生的根源、对社会的危害等等,在文章的结尾通常需要提出一个解决办法,使读者感觉作者对这个问题确实有很深的了解。如:
In my opinion, generation gap can be bridged as long as both parents and children are willing to make efforts. They may have an open talk and tell each other what they think about certain problems. They should be considerate enough to realize that each generation has its own advantages and disadvantages. Their openness and consideration probably will result in a much better relationship between parents and children.
上面所述的是几种常用的结尾方式。一般来说,采用何种方式,要看所写文章的性质和所写文章的目的来决定。总之,结尾好的文章,对前面所述的问题作以总结,不给读者留下任何疑团,使读者读完后受益匪浅。
四级作文要求考生写出不少于100字的文章。对于这样的要求考生不必担心字数不够。我们算一下,如果我们在每一段中写上四句话,即主题句加两三句扩展句和一个结论句就可以了。这样全篇在十二句左右。每一句十多个词,这样就是120-150字。同时,我们也提醒大家,不能写得太多,写得多容易跑题,漏洞也可能越多。 四、修改完善(三个检查,四个原则)
30分钟的写作,时间再紧,也要留出两三分钟的时间把文章通读几遍,进行必要的修改。检查修改可分几次进行,每次集中解决一、两个问题。检查主要分为: 1. 语篇水平上的检查
在语篇水平上进行检查,也就是从全局进行检查。主要检查文章的主题是否明确;观点是否可靠;内容是否切题;立论是否恰当;论证是否有力;推理是否合乎逻辑;文体风格是否合适;结论与主题是否一致等。 2. 段落水平上的检查
段落水平上的检查,即局部检查。主要是检查段落是否完整;段落的扩展是否充分;细节安排是否混乱;段内各句衔接是否紧凑;语义是否连贯等。 3. 句子水平上的检查
在句子水平上的检查,也就是说在语言方面进行检查。主要检查文字是否简洁、用词是否准确、句子结构是否完整、语句是否通顺、有无重大语法错误(如主谓一致、时态、语态、语气、倒装、连接手段、平行结构、非谓语动词结构等)。最后检查标点,大小写是否符合写作规范。
4. 修改的四个原则
1) 尽可能把语义抽象的单词改为语义具体的单词; 2) 多用主动语态,尽量避免用被动语态; 3) 多用短小的单词,尽量避免用冗长的单词; 4) 多用短句来表达,尽量避免用长句。
第二章 四级写作专项扫雷训练
第一节 漂亮句子写作技巧
一、英语句子类型
英语句子种类繁多,它们可分别从语法结构和修辞角度进行分类。 1. 从语法结构上可以分为:
1)简单句:只有一个主语(或并列主语)和谓语动词(或并列谓语动词)或表语。如: The shortest answer is doing.(最简短的回答就是干) Pain past is pleasure.(过去的痛苦即是快乐)
Storms make trees take deeper roots.(风暴使树木深深扎根) 这些谚语式的简单句看似简单,实际上每一句话都蕴意深刻。
2)并列句:由两个或两个以上的简单句通过并列连词或分号连接而成。各个分句之间不存在从属关系,但通过不同的并列连词表达不同的语义关系。 a. 表示意义延伸
这一类的并列连词主要有 and, and also, not only…(but) also, and …as well, not…nor, neither…nor等。如:
He speaks good English and speaks good French as well. Neither has he known the truth, nor does he want to know. b. 表示区别选择
这一类的并列连词主要有 or, either…or, or else, or if not, otherwise等。如: Either you improve your work, or I shall dismiss you. We must be quick, otherwise, we will fail the last bus. c. 表示转折对比
这一类的并列连词主要有but, and, whereas, only, yet, still, however等。 I enjoy listening to classical music and he enjoys listening to pop music. He doesn’t feel well these days, however, he still insists on going to work. d. 表示因果关系
这一类的连词主要有 so, and, for等。
Study hard and you will pass your examination. We rarely stay in hotels, for we can’t afford it.
3)复合句:包含一个主句,一个或者一个以上的从句, 有时也被称为主从复合句。从句大致可分为三种: a. 名词从句
名词性从句包括主语从句、宾语从句、表语从句、同位语从句等,在主句中充当名词可以充当的成分,如主语、动词宾语、介词宾语、补语和同位语等,一般由连词that, if ,whether, 连接代词what, which, who, whom, whose和连接副词when, where, how, why等引导。 名词性从句不能用逗号与主句分开。如:
It is obvious that money cannot buy everything.
The fact that his proposal makes sense should be recognized. b. 定语从句
定语从句包括限制性定语从句和非限制性定语从句,后者往往用逗号与主句分开。定语从句在主句中充当定语,修饰句中的某一名词或代词。被定语从句所修饰的词称为先行词,定语从句必须放在先行词之后。引导定语从句的有关系代词 who, whose, which, that 和关系副词when, where, why 等。例如:
In the town where she was born, there is a famous tower.
He asked a lot of questions, which were none of his business. c. 状语从句
状语从句代替主句中的副词作用,用以修饰动词,形容词和副词。状语从句可放在句首或句末,在句首时,从句后面常以一逗号和主句分开;放在句末时,前面则不用标点符号与主句分开。状语从句可表达时间、地点、条件、让步、原因、结果、方式、比较等各种语义关系,分别由相应的从属连词引导。
While he was watching TV, his wife was preparing the dinner. They are generous although they are poor.
I got up early this morning so that I could catch the early bus. I won’t trouble him since he is tired. 2. 从修辞角度上可分为: 1)松散句(loose sentence):主要思想在前,次要思想在后。松散句在英语句子中占有很大的比例。一般来说它适用于描述几个同等重要的观点和事实。松散句中没有跌宕起伏,全是平铺直叙,句子简单,意思直截了当,便于理解和使用。如:
I am very interested in physics when I was in high school, but I finally came to this university to study mathematics. (句子重点强调的是对物理感兴趣)
Finally I came to this university to study mathematics, though I am very interested in physics. (句子重点强调最后来大学学数学这一事实。)
2)圆周句(periodic sentence): 次要的事实在前,主要意思在后,不读到句末,就不可能了解句子的全部意思。圆周句中的高潮一般出现在句子的末尾,可以用这种句型设置悬念,吸引读者。如果使用的好,可以收到一种特殊的效果。如:
Unless I get some money, I can’t go. (句子的中心意思是 I can’t go, 原因在中心意思的前面,可以设置悬念)。
I can’t go, unless I get some money. ( 此句则为松散句,看起来自然一些) 3)平衡句(balanced sentence):结构相同而意思通常相反的句子的组合。平衡句属正式英语文体,常用在说明文或论说文中对其中的观点加以比较或对比,从而使文章的中心思想更加鲜明突出。平衡句通常是作者精心设计,以加强读者的印象。如:
This true but not new; this is new but not true.
In peace, children bury their parents; in war, parents bury their children.
The politician is concerned with successful elections whereas the statesman is interested in the future of people. 二、漂亮句子4要素
那么在掌握了基本语法知识以后该怎样做才能写出好的英语句子呢?为此我们应当遵循以下准则: 1. 完整性
“完整”有两层意思:句子结构的完整和句子表达意思的完整。四级考试中常见的违反句子完整性的错误有:
a. 残缺句:脱离了主句的词组或从句,在英语中不能独立存在表达完整的思想。如: He was the most popular poet.
该句就缺乏思想表达上的完整性。因为句中“He‖ 所谓的 ―the most popular‖概念未表达完全,即在什么时间,什么范围内最受欢迎。可改为:
He was the most popular poet in Tang Dynasty.
b. 融合句:两个或两个以上的独立句连在一起说,句子中间没有相应的连词连接。如: Born in a small village over forty years ago, he grew up to be a scientist.
在这个句子中,作者表达了两个思想,一是“四十年前他出生在一个小村庄”;另一个思想是“他成为一个科学家”。但从句子结构上来看,这两个思想连接的不是很紧密,也就是说两个思想没有融合在一起。因此应改为:
He was born in a small village over forty years ago, and later he became a scientist.
为了避免这种错误就需要我们在造句时,注意检查句子的主语、谓语是否齐全,是否表达了一个完整的意思,句子中间是否存在某种关系等,如主从、转折、因果关系等。 2. 连贯性
连贯性是指句子各部分之间关系紧密、协调、前后意思连贯、思想表达清楚有序。造成句子不连贯的因素很多,主要有错用平行结构、代词指代不明、误置修饰语、转换不当、以及主谓不一致等。这几种典型错误都将在第五节“写作常见错误分析”中详细说明。在此就不再赘述了。
除了以上几点之外,人称、数、语气、时态、语态及结构上的不恰当转换也会破坏句子的连贯性,所以也是在句子写作中应该注意避免的。如:
1)It is raining heavily, so we couldn’t go to the Great Wall today. 这句话用了现在时和过去时,在时态上不一致。应改为: It is raining heavily, so we can’t go to the Great Wall today. 2)Take your time, and you should be careful.
这句话由祈使语气变为直陈语气,破坏了句子的连贯性,应改为: Take your time and be careful.
3)He is good not only at music but also plays basketball well. 此句在结构上不一致,应改为:
He is good not only at music but also basketball. 4) I wrote to him, but my letter was not answered.
此句在语态上不一致,前边为主动语态,后边为被动语态,破坏了句子的连贯性。应改为:
I wrote to him, but he did not answer my letter. 3. 简洁性
许多人在造句时,常常以为句子越长、越复杂就越好。其实简洁的句子更能达到很好的效果。言简意赅是我们写文章时所追求的目标之一,也是我们行文时所遵循的一个重要准则,有人说简洁是好文章的灵魂所在,此话并不过分。由于大学英语四级写作考试有时间和字数上的规定,我们不可能长篇大论地去写。因而尽可能用最简洁的方式表达出最多的思想信息就成为四级考生追求的目标。要达到这个目标,就要力求句子中不存在任何不必要的词。
如:
1)Wordy: My room is very big in size. Improved: My room is very big.
2) Wordy: She is a girl who was very kind in nature and amiable in manner. Improved: She is a very kind and amiable girl.
值得注意的是,我们提倡简炼,但不是说都用简单句。有人认为在写作考试中,采用简单句、短句,容易掌握,不大会出错,因而也最保险。这话没有错,但简单句用的太多,造成简单句的堆砌实际上上是语言技巧不熟、不老练,甚至语言水平低下的表现。在阅卷人员看来,同样的意思内容,一个考生能够运用比较复杂的句子结构来表达,其语言水平当然要比只会用简单句来表达的考生的语言水平高出一截。在某种意义上来说,在词数相同的作文中,语言水平越高,语言技巧越熟练,句子的数目也就越少。当然,我们反对过多的使用简单句,并不是鼓励学生去刻意追求长句、复杂句。我们追求的是句子结构的多变。一篇文章