young man had had dinner with an American family and had remarked that he greatly admired the country‘s efficiency, organization, and accomplishment. But, he said, there was one thing he would never quite understand, and that was why Americans were so cold, so distant. His host was deeply hurt, and the visit ended on a bit of a sour note. The point here is that both the first and last statements by the young man are typical. Very often, upon arrival in the United States many foreign visitors are astonished by the warmth and friendliness of the American people. But often after a few months they begin to feel homesick and lonely, and they blame the Americans for causing these feelings by being cold. Now, why is this? I believe it is simply a question of different rhythms. Americans have one rhythm in their personal and family relations, in their friendliness and their charities. People from other cultures have different rhythms. The American rhythm is fast. It is characterized by a rapid acceptance of others. However, it is seldom that Americans engage themselves entirely in a friendship. Their friendships are warm, but they are casual — and they are specialized. By specialized I mean, for example, you have a neighbor who drops by in the morning for coffee. You see her frequently, but you never invite her for dinner — not because you don‘t think she could handle a fork and a knife, but because you have seen her that morning. Therefore, you 一个日本人对美国人的误会 美国式的友reserve your more formal invitation to dinner for someone who lives in a more 好与热情 distant part of the city and whom you would not see unless you extended an invitation for a special occasion. Now, if the first friend moves away and the
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second one moves nearby, you are likely to reverse this — see the second friend in the mornings for informal coffee meetings, and the first one more formally for dinner. In some cultures friendship means a strong life-long bond between two people. In these cultures friendships develop slowly, since they are built to last. But people in American society seem to be much more mobile. Studies 其他文化中show that one out of five American families moves every year. Therefore 的慢热持久友谊 American friendships develop quickly, and they may change just as quickly. Besides, people are, in other words, guided very often by their own convenience. Americans make friends easily, and they don‘t feel it necessary to go to a great amount of trouble to see friends often when it becomes inconvenient to do so. No matter how much they like you, they may not come to see you for years if it is inconvenient. In American society, usually no one 方便与否对is hurt by it. But in similar circumstances people from many other cultures 美国人待人方式would be hurt very deeply. It is only when we assume that other people do as we do and they assume that we do as they do that feelings are hurt. Often, for example, foreign visitors feel that the American family system shows them to be cold hearted and that they treat their parents badly. Their parents don‘t live with them. There aren‘t three or four generations in the household; no cousins, no aunts 的影响 以己度人是share our homes. The fact is, of course, that Americans aren‘t cold; they just 误解的主要根源 do things differently. They prize independence. Most parents in the United States don‘t want to live with their adult children. This question also leads to 湖南涉外经济学院备课纸
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a point of values. We often assume that our values are the right values simply because, for us they are the obvious values. An African ambassador in Washington, recently said to his American friends, ―One of the things which has caused misunderstandings between your people and mine is that you Americans always speak of individualism as being good. We do not consider individualism good. You always oppose government to individualism. What we oppose to individualism is not the government, but the family, the clan, the 非洲大使眼small community of natural primary relations. We feel that an individualist is 中的个人主义 a lonely man.‖ If you talk to a Frenchman, on the other hand, he will say, “Americans are not individualistic at all.. They have no sense of individualism.‖ To Americans an individualist is someone who takes care of his own life, who sets a goal for himself and goes to it. If twO young men decide that their goal in life is to make good in the hardware business, and if each of them does it 法国人眼中independently, Americans would say that these are two individualists. The 的个人主义 French call individualism something entirely different. They say an individualist is someone who is different from others. If there are two, people in the hardware business there can be no individualism. There is one too many. However, in Mexico, it is the uniqueness of the individual which is valued, a quality which is assumed to reside within each person and which is 墨西哥人眼not necessarily evident through actions or achievements. That inner quality 中的个人主义 which represents the dignity of each person must be protected at all costs. Any
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action or remark that may be inrpreted as a slight to the person‘s dignity is to be regarded as a grave provocation. Also, as every person is part of a larger family grouping, one cannot be regarded as a completely isolated individual. Different understandings, different senses of value, but nevertheless all views are perfectly legitimate as long as people understand each other. It is usually expected that Americans and the British would have fewer problems in understanding each other, for they share a common language and may have little difficulty communicating with one another. But differences can also be found between Americans and the British. For instance, an American working in England was once invited to take tea with one of his colleagues, which was a purely social, relaxed occasion. Tea was served along with sugar and cream. As he helped himself to some sugar and cream, he sensed he had done something wrong but couldn‘t be sure what the problem was. ?What went wrong? Here we have to ?look beyond the gesture of taking sugar or cream to the values expressed in this gesture: for Americans, ―Help yourself‖; for the English counterpart, ―Be my guest.― American and English people equally enjoy entertaining and being 美国和英国entertained but they differ somewhat in the value of the distinction. Typically, 客人的文化差异 the ideal guest at an American party is one who ―makes himself at home‖, even to the point of, rearranging the furniture without being asked, suggesting the dinner menu, answering the door or fixing his own drink. For people in many other societies, including at least this English host, such guest behavior would seem presumptuous or rude.
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What we have to realize is that, in analyzing problems of communication across cultures, it is all too tempting to look first for difficulties posed by language misinterpretation or assume some nonverbal indiscretion. But we have tried to suggest that the misunderstanding or misbehavior more likely resides elsewhere, in the subtler but consistent cultural patterns of behavior which become understandable when we appreciate difference in cultural values. Thus what we first need, in attempting to analyze any such situation, is not necessarily more language skills or more information about the mores of a 借助语言技particular culture, but rather an openness to alternatives to our own 能之外的东西理conventional behavior. If we appreciate the logic of our own actions, we can 解他种文化 more quickly imagine alternatives equally consistent with other values. Comprehension Questions 1. What does the author intend to illustrate by telling us the story of teaching the color white to a blind person? (Everyone will understand other cultures like the blind person does) 2. According to the author, what makes up ―culture‖? (common experience) 3. Why did the Frenchman make the wrong assumption about the American economic system? (His experience about flying flags effected him) 4. Are misunderstandings that take place at the level of feelings the most -serious ones? Why?
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