Lecture 6
讲义例子：
(1) 【Awkward】 In the paper, a SZG4031 towing tractor is used as the sample vehicle, it components equivalent physical parameters are obtained by UG design and testing.
【Correct】 In this study, a SZG4031 towing tractor is used as the sample vehicle, it components equivalent physical parameters are obtained by UG design and testing.
(2) 【Incorrect】 Equation 2-6 can be respectively linearized as:…(equations given)… 【Correct】 Equations 2-6 can be linearized as… (equations given)…, respectively.
(3) 【Incorrect】 Then, the rows of vortex due to both of the long and short blades are transformed into two singularities on the plane and integrate the induced velocity along the blades respectively.
【Correct】 Then, the rows of vortex due to both of the long and short blades are transformed into two singularities on the plane and integrate the induced velocity along the blades. (4) 【Incorrect】 The dynamic characteristics of a rotor with asymmetric stiffness or with initial warp have been studied before respectively [1-4].
【Correct】 The dynamic characteristics of a rotor with asymmetric stiffness or with initial warp have been studied before [1-4].
(5) 【Incorrect】 The inlet and outlet temperature of the air cooler were measured using two thermocouples respectively.
【Correct】 The inlet and outlet temperature of the air cooler were measured by using two thermocouples.
(6) 【Incorrect】Studies of methodology and process of implementing remanufacturing mainly focus on durable products such as automobile motors, printers, and etc.
【Correct】 Studies of methodology and process of implementing remanufacturing mainly focus on durable products such as automobile motors, and printers. (7) 【Incorrect】Compared to traditional industry, Micro-electronic fabrication has three characteristics such as high complexity, high precision and high automation.
【Correct】 Compared to traditional industry, Micro-electronic fabrication has three characteristics: high complexity, high precision and high automation. (8) Many scientists have studied PHB, mostly because of its potential use as a biodegradable plastic.
(9) The potential use of PHB as a biodegradable plastic has prompted numerous studies of its physical properties and its production and purification. [1, 2, 3, 4]
(10) 【Incorrect】 Figure 2 shows the distribution of relative velocity on surface of main and splitter blades.
【Correct】 Figure 2 shows the distribution of relative velocity on the surface of main and splitter blades.
(11) 【Incorrect】 The voltage induced in the primary winding is proportional to the primary inductance according to the Faraday’s law.
【Correct】 The voltage induced in the primary winding is proportional to the primary inductance according to Faraday’s law.
(12) 【Incorrect】 Aluminum is not as a good conductor as copper.
【Correct】 Aluminum is not as good a conductor as copper.
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(13) 【Incorrect】 The software PowerSHAPE is chosen to be a 3D modeling tool; it is good at dealing with free surfaces and curves.
【Correct】 The software PowerSHAPE is chosen to be the 3D modeling tool; it is good at dealing with free surfaces and curves.
(软件PowerSHAPE经常被用来作3D建模工具；它擅长处理游离面和曲线 (在他的研究中只用了这一种3D建模工具，所以3D建模工具是特指，要用定冠词the)
(14) 【Incorrect】The academy is in charge of developing satellite technology and making space research.
【Correct】The academy is in charge of developing satellite technology and conducting space research.
(15) 【Incorrect】Since these reasons, it has become desirable for a computer to separate the text from images.
【Incorrect】For these reasons, it has become desirable for a computer to separate the text from images.
(14) 【Incorrect】 Purdue offers many majors in engineering. Such as electrical, chemical, and industrial engineering.
【Correct】 Purdue offers many majors in engineering, such as electrical, chemical, and industrial engineering.
Some fragments are clearly not pieces of sentences that have been left unattached to the main clause; they are written as main clauses but lack a subject or main verb.
(15) 【Incorrect】 With the ultimate effect of all advertising is to sell the product.
【Correct】 The ultimate effect of all advertising is to sell the product.
(16) 【Incorrect】 By paying too much attention to polls can make a political leader unwilling to propose innovative policies.
【Correct】 Paying too much attention to polls can make a political leader unwilling to propose innovative policies.
(17) 【Incorrect】 My first-year philosophy professor was informative, lively, and a source of inspiration.
【Correct】 My first-year philosophy professor was informative, lively, and inspiring. (18) 【Incorrect】This paper first discusses the features of this signal, and then its generation (产生) is described.
【Correct】This paper first discusses the features of this signal, and then describes its generation. (19) 【Incorrect】 My philosophy professor not only demonstrated how to reason persuasively but also how to avoid logical fallacies.
【Correct】 My philosophy professor demonstrated not only how to reason persuasively but also how to avoid logical fallacies. (20)【Incorrect】He warned me to revise my essay and that I should pay close attention to parallel structures.
【Correct】He warned me to revise my essay and to pay close attention to parallel structures. (21) The sodium hydroxide (氢氧化钠) was dissolved in water. This solution(溶解) was then titrated(用滴定法测量) with hydrochloric acid（盐酸）.
(22) Figure 1 illustrates the quadratic relationship between distance and velocity. (23) Experimental evidence shows that the typical dose-response curve has an inverted J-shape. 12
(24) The tables show… (The active voice is better) It will be seen from the table …
(25) PCR analysis produced clones of the toxin B DNA originally isolated in cultures of c. difficile(梭状芽胞杆菌) from hospital patients.
(26) 【Incorrect】Comparing Huckin’s method with ours, the difference between them is that we don’t use external forces to join the panels in the model together.
【Correct】Unlike Huckin’s method, our method doesn’t use external forces to join the panels in the model together.
(27)【Incorrect】Starting the machine, an unusual problem occurred.
【Correct】When the machine was started, an unusual problem occurred.
(28)【Incorrect】After connecting this lead（导线）to pin 1 of the second tube, the other lead is connected to pin 2.
【Correct 】After this lead has been connected to pin 1 of the second tube, the other lead is connected to pin 2.
(29)【Incorrect】To meet this requirement, an optimization(最优化) technique for implicit-form problems must be developed.
【Correct】To meet this requirement, we must develop an optimization technique for implicit-form problems.
(30) 【Incorrect】Before adding the compound, it was determined that the solution’s PH was 6.4.
【Correct】Before the addition of the compound, it was determined that the solution’s PH was 6.4.
(31)【Incorrect】The United States only installed only 420 MW of additional wind capacity in 1998.
【Correct】The United States installed only 420 MW of additional wind capacity in 1998. “only” is not used to modify the verb “installed” but “420”, so it should be placed before “420”.
(32)【Incorrect】The experiment approximately took three hours. 【Correct】The experiment took approximately three hours.
(33)【Incorrect】A laser disk drive is used in the CD-ROM device that is the same size as a traditional 5.25-inch drive.
【Correct】A laser disk drive that is the same size as a traditional 5.25-inch drive is used in the CD-ROM device.
(34) In section 4, experiments are described in which the proposed method is applied to control a standard industrial robot manipulator. (35) In this report, an efficient algorithm(有效算法) is developed that employs the concept of static equilibrium(平衡) to determine the stability of clamping(嵌位).
(36)【Incorrect】The accuracy of the new robot arm is greater than the conventional one.
【Correct 1】The accuracy of the new robot arm is greater than that of the conventional one. 【Correct 2】The new robot arm is more accurate than the conventional one.
(37)【Incorrect】 Compare the voltage drop between node 1 and node 2 and node 3 and node 4. 【Correct】Compare the voltage drop between node 1 and node 2 with that between node 3 and node 4. (38)【Incorrect】Low-frequency noise is filtered out more effectively by the AGG than the limiter. 【Correct 1】The AGC filters out low-frequency noise more effectively than the limiter does.
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【Correct 2】Low-frequency noise is filtered out more effectively by the AGC than by the limiter.
(39) [Original] The rate gyroscope itself consists of a very rapidly spinning wheel and electronic components which sense changes in the axis of rotation of the wheel, and which modify and output a digital signal accordingly.
The sentence is awkward, confusing and obscure because it violates the rhetorical principle—one idea per sentence. Such too long sentences can be avoided by giving each idea a sentence of its own and connecting the sentences. Semicolons might be used where we really want to emphasize the relationship between ideas.
[Revision] The rate gyroscope itself consists of a very rapidly spinning wheel. Changes in the wheel’s axis of rotation are sensed by electronic components, which modify and output a digital signal proportional to the changes.
(40) [Original] Today, society is witnessing the steady progression of women towards equality with their increasing presence in the working world and in government and their gradual move outside the home.
[Revision] Today, society is witnessing women’s steady progression towards equality. Moving beyond the limits of the home, women are claiming new and increasing authority in government, business, and other historically male-dominated areas. (41)【Incorrect】《Science and Nature》
【Correct】Science and Nature
(42) The trees on our campus include many fine Japanese specimens such as black pines, ginkgoes, weeping cherries, and maples.
(43) Many shade-loving plants, such as begonias, impatiens and coleus, can add color to a shady garden.
(44) The amount of solute（溶质，溶解物）you obtain in this way depends not only upon the volume of solution(溶液) but also upon the concentration of solute, i.e., the amount of solute in a given amount of solution.
(45)【Incorrect】The diameter of this rope is 2 in.. 【Correct】The diameter of this rope is 2 in.
(46) 【Original】It has only been since the early 1960s that isokinetic i.e. devices that allow for movements to be performed at controlled velocities, have been available on the commercial market. These devices, such as the Cybex II Isokinetic Dynamometer (等速肌力测试仪) (Lummex Inc.), measure the torque (力矩) produced throughout the range of voluntary limb movements held at constant pre-set velocities. They provide an ideal means of measuring an individual’s torque generating capacities, and thereby greater information on the expression of strength in maximal voluntary limb movements(肢体运动). This is what traditional methods could not do.
In the paragraph above the author has put two pints in the topic sentence, without indication, through punctuation. This could be easily improved by putting one point, not two, in the topic sentence. In most cases, we prefer to keep the two points in the topic sentence, using two commas to show which is more important. We could revise the example above in two ways:
【Revision 1】It has only been since the early 1960s that isokinetic devices, which allow for movements to be performed at controlled velocities, have been available on the commercial market.
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【Revision 2】Isokinetic devices, which have only been available on the commercial market since the early 1960s, allow for movements to be performed at controlled velocities.
The words in bold mark the main point; the point between the commas is secondary. The first option means that the main point of the paragraph is the commercial availability of the devices; the second option means that the main point is what these devices do. According to the developing sentences in this paragraph, it can be seen that the second is a better choice. 6.4.
1) The following paragraph is extracted from articles submitted to a journal. Obviously it is a poor introductory paragraph. Please revise them.
(1) In this paper, in view of the randomness uncertainty and fuzziness uncertainty of meteorological parameters(气象参数) in ice disaster weather, we established a wind and ice loading risk analysis model, and proposed a fuzzy risk predictive method. This paper aims to build basic model of risk assessment and provide warning information of the loading line to operator. [Key] To build a basic risk assessment model and to provide warning information of the loading line for operators, we established a wind and ice loading risk analysis model, and proposed a fuzzy risk predicative method based on the randomness uncertainty and fuzziness uncertainty of meteorological parameters in ice disaster weather.
2.) Please improve the following wrongly translated English sentences. (1)这种新方法具有效率高、容易调整的优点。
【Incorrect】This kind of new method have the advantage of high efficiency, easy adjustment. 【Correct】This new method has the advantages of high efficiency and easy adjustment. (2)【汉语原句】本文首先讨论了这种信号的特点，然后讨论了它的产生。
【Incorrect】This paper first discusses the features of this signal, and then its generation is described.
【Correct】This paper first discusses the features of this signal, and then describes its generation. (3)【汉语原句】这台设备的特点是操作简便，价格低廉。
【Incorrect】The features of this device are easy in operation and low in price.
【Correct】The features of this device are easy operation and low price.或 The device features easy operation and low price.
(4)【汉语原句】强调指出了光强随圆柱体直径变化的正弦规律.
【Incorrect】The sine law of the variance of the light intensity brought due to the variance of the cylinder diameter has been pointed out emphatically. 【Correct】 The sine law of the variation of the light intensity with the cylinder diameter has been emphasized.
(5)【汉语原句】我们的方法与以前讨论同一问题的文章中所述的不同。
【Incorrect】Our method is different from previous articles discussed the same problem.
【Correct】 Our method is different from those presented (described) in the paper available (published before) on (discussing) the same problem.
(6)【汉语原句】只有通过对该系统性能的研究，我们才能了解它的优点。
【Incorrect】Only through studied the performance of the system, its advantages can be understood.
【Correct】 Only through the study of the performance of the system, can we understand
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