ETIQUETTE FOR EXTERNAL RELATIONSHIPS 涉外公关礼仪 CHAPTER Ⅰ
一、THE STATUS AND FUNCTION OF ETIQUETTE（礼仪的地位和作用）
?With the development of our country?s open policy, there is a tendency for contacts with people from other cultures to become increasingly frequent.
Etiquette, as an indispensable form in international association, has
played a more and more significant role.
?Etiquette plays a decisive role in external relationships. In social contacts those who behave with good manners will be held in esteem and give people a good impression.
China---a ceremonial state.
?Neither riches nor honour can corrupt a person, nor dominant power
make one yield. （富贵不能淫，威武不能屈） ?“A gentleman is a gentleman anywhere at anytime.” （无论何时何地，绅士就是绅士）
?A friend afar brings a distant land near.（有朋自远方来，不亦乐乎）
Otherwise they will be viewed as haughty, conceited, ignorant or foolish, and are likely to be cold-shouldered or cast aside.
Etiquette functions subtly in coordinating human relationships.
Associating with others is a kind of essential necessity deeply rooted in one?s heart and innate in human beings as well.
?When a person comes to the world, he/she not only requires food to eat and clothes to wear, but also needs tender care, sympathy, understanding, concern, and assistance from others.
?Tender comfort makes one warm in the coldest winter while evil words get one cold in the hottest summer. （良言一句三冬暖，恶语伤人六月寒）
A kind word is remembered for a long time, but an abusive language hurts the feelings at once.（一句温暖的话记得很长一段时间,而是一种污辱性语言伤害的情感在一次。） Kind words warm the heart of a person while hurtful slur chills the spine
（作用）Mutual understanding, trust, care and common affection among people not only create a friendly social atmosphere, but also meet every normal people?s needs in different degrees with regard to their healthy and reasonable psychological necessities. ?Thereby,they put people in a sanguine and optimistic mood, and make them love their life even more and enable the whole society to maintain a stable and harmonious order. ?Human relationships have a sentimental property. For example, etiquette between intimates is different from that between those who are just acquaintances.
?In the contemporary age, various new thoughts, new information and technologies are spring up constantly. All these make the connection, exchanges and cooperation among people more important. So, the coordinating function that etiquette plays in human relationships is becoming more and more necessary, dynamic and indispensable. ?
<< 让墙巷>>
千里修书为扇墙， 让他几尺又何妨? 万里长城依然在， 未见当年秦始皇。
CHAPTER Ⅱ
THE CONNOTATIONS OF COURTESY（礼貌的内涵,）
?In human contacts, courtesy indicates a kind of behavioral norm that shows respect, friendliness, politeness, consideration, thanks and kindness, etc. towards other people. It also embodies a nation or a country?s distinctive style, mental civilization and moral practice. In external contacts and activities, it is of great importance. THE ESSENCE OF COURTESY
?Etiquette is mainly displayed through modest and respectful attitudes, graceful and appropriate behavior, civilized and courteous language, tasteful and unaffected attire.
?The essence of etiquette is respect.
Confucius （孔子）said: “Etiquette is, after all, respecting Human beings.”（ 毕竟,礼仪是尊重人类。）
It includes respecting oneself, respecting others and respecting the society. Should a person respect himself, he is able to deserve others? respect. Self-respect hints respecting oneself proper and respecting the profession that one is engaging in and the company or institution that one is working at.
?Respecting others covers respecting one?s superiors/bosses, colleagues, subordinates, clients/customers, opponents.
?Respecting one?s superiors is the bounden (非做不可的)duty; respecting one?s colleagues is the basic requirements; respecting one?s subordinates is the virtue; respecting one?s clients is the common sense and respecting one?s opponents the demeanor.
?Respecting the society will beautify the living environment and help to optimize the development of human beings. It requires people to pay special attention to the social morality, to maintain social order, to protect the environment, to love people and the nation and to abide by law.
?Good manners have two aspects: an inner concern for other people?s needs and feelings, and an outer expression in certain kind of acts. Do unto others as you would be done by, that’s to say, treat others in the way that you would like to be treated.（己所不欲勿施于人）
?Good manners in China differ greatly in form from those in other countries. Therefore, if you hope to get along very well with foreigners and make them at ease with you, you must have some knowledge of different manners of foreign countries.
BEING PUNCTURAL AND KEEPING PROMISES（被PUNCTURAL和守信用）
?No matter whether you make an appointment yourself or promise to do something, you should never go back upon your words.
If you?re not able of fulfill an invitation for special reasons, you should inform the other party as early as possible and express your apologies for your absence in a proper way and at the proper time. It is bad manners to break one?s promise.
?In the West, people are keenly aware of time and as a result, they tend to organize their
activities by means of schedules and are usually on time for business meetings and social activities. Indeed, some visitors from other countries have come to the conclusion that western society is “ruled by the clock ”. That ?s to say, their activities are always scheduled according to the appointed time.
RESPECTING OTHERS AND ONESELF（尊重别人和自己）
?A philosopher has said, “The most intrinsic quality of human nature is simply its eagerness for respect from others.” To respect oneself and others is one of the fundamental principles where foreign affairs related etiquette is concerned.（最内在品质的人性就是它急于要别人的尊敬。尊重自己和他人是一种基本原则在外交事务相关的礼仪是有关的。） RESPECTING OTHERS? CUSTOMS AND HABITS（尊重别人的习俗和习惯）
?As all know, different countries and nationalities have their own particular customs, habits and manners due to their different histories, religious beliefs and so on. Suppose we don?t know the local customs and habits,we should spend more time to ask and observe.
RESPECTING WOMEN（尊重女性）
?Originating from the influence of the knights in the Middle Ages and may be also from the respect paid to the Virgin Mary. Respecting women has long been considered as a part of good manners.
?In some situations, people spontaneously practice ladies first, but the only exception is when danger is under consideration.
?In a word, respect for the female, especially in the aspects of words and needs, is an important content of civilization and courtesy. In a dance, the man must dance first with the girl accompanied with him. When the dance ends, he must say thanks and help her find a seat. He must not leave till she is seated.While he is inviting a lady to dance, he must make a little bow and say “shall I have this dance with you?” If refused, you are not supposed to be annoyed.
PRSONAL PRIVACY（个人隐私）
?In order to understand the western idea of personal privacy, people should start by thinking of a nation?s concept of territoriality.
?If one enters a private house without asking for permission, he/she is likely to be shot or accused of trespassing (入侵)or burglary(盗窃).
?If a person is reading, others must not lean over their shoulder to share with him.
?Even between a couple, a spouse can not open the other?s personal letters and vice versa.
?There are still quite a few questions which you are not supposed to ask even in the comparatively open country of the united states.
?In western countries, one?s income is top secret. It is also considered impolite to inquire about one? s property.
?Even in the United States, one must not ask about the age of others. ?Don?t ask the price if somebody show you something.
?Keep a certain distance with the westerners while talking or lining.
?Why there is never a woman president in USA? Because nobody wants to show she is over 36.
MEETING AND GREETING PEOPLE（见面与问候）
?A cheery, pleasant greeting to people is a form of good manners which adds to life?s
happiness.
?It is always good to use the name of the person whom you are greeting. COMMONLY USED GREETINGS常用问候
?This kind of greeting originated from in European countries.
?（握手）Shaking hands may help to create a friendly atmosphere, and may also, make the counterpart annoyed.
?The proper handshake should be brief; the hands holding firm; the attitude enthusiastic and while shaking hands both sides should look at each other with smiles.
?A handshakes between men must be steady and firm which is called a “firm handshake.”
?When many people try to shake hands at the same time, they should avoid crossing hands and do it one after another.
?In times of a happy event or sorrowful matter, people also kiss to show their intimacy or sympathy.
?However, the ways of kissing make a difference. Older people often kiss the younger on their foreheads. The younger people only kiss the older on their lower jaws. Compeers or friends and sisters only press their faces to each other. It is only lovers or spouses who kiss mouth to mouth.
?Embracing is a manner of showing intimacy between people all over the world and a kiss often goes with it.
APPEARANCE AND BEARING外观和轴承
?In order to establish that first impressions are strongest when contacting with people, personal appearance and attire must be neat and meanwhile proper behavior is also very important.（外貌和行为） Clothing（服饰）
?As a matter of fact, clothes have become our outer appearance. The first impression we make on others in a most decided by how you dress.
?In principle, formal dark-color suits fit formal,grand and solemn occasions,while informal dress is appropriate for ordinary circumstances. （原则上,正式dark-color
适合适合正式场合,宏伟庄严,而平常的服装适合一般情况下。） ?The traditional western formal dress:（正式）
The morning dress (晨礼服) The tuxedo (小礼服) The tail coat (燕尾服)
?Ladies’dress make a little difference.
?It is too casual and rude to dress out of time or to dress randomly. As a consequence it makes other people feel disgusted. Self cultivation道德修养 ;
?In social contact, courtesy is the embodiment of self cultivation. ?Personal Appearance
?People judge you at first by what they see, so you should be particular about your personal appearance.
?Personal Behavior行为
?Always carry a clean handkerchief with you. Do not use it while it is folded and do not
fold it after it is used.
?All noises from the body are to be avoided. 各种噪声从阀体应该避免。 ?When you are sitting and talking with friends, sit quietly. ?Be careful not to laugh at the wrong time. ?Personal Hygiene个人卫生
?Before going out, a person should wash, comb, make up and be particular about the dress. One should keep his appearance tidy,unaffected and artistic.
?Don?t blow nose, dig nostrils, yawn, pick teeth, clear ears, etc. before others. ?Environmental Sanitation
?Don?t spit and litter peel and paper anywhere. CHAPTER Ⅲ
ETIQUETTE IN EXTERNAL ACTIVITIES外部活动中的礼仪
?In external contacts, whether it is an official or civilian activity, pay special attention to ceremony.
?Therefore, as external people, we should understand some social etiquette in external work so that e know what to do on various occasions. INVITATIONS邀请函
?A formal English invitation card has a certain writing pattern. An invitation is generally written in the third person, both for the receiver and sender.
?If the senders of the card are a couple, both of their names should be printed on the card as well. In dong so, it shows mutual respect.
?If the invitation is given by word of mouth, in conversation or at a chance meeting, you should answer at once whether you can come or not. If you can not give an answer at that time, you may say “May I let you know this evening?”or other such words. Never just say “Thank you.” Example 1
?Dr. and Mrs. T. Karl ?Request the pleasure of ?Mr.Michael Tailor?s ?Company at dinner
?On Monday, the fifteenth of August ?At seven o?clock.
?The reply is similarly worded: ?Mr.Michael Tailor
?Accepts with pleasure of ?Dr. and Mrs. T. Karl?s ?Kind invitation for dinner
?On Monday, the fifteenth of August ?At seven o?clock. ?Mr. Michael Tailor
?Regrets that a previous engagement ?Prevents his accepting